Thursday, January 3, 2008

Somebody dipped into the Puddin’...

I come back to blogging after a productive holiday of debauchery and shakin’ my ass, only to discover some things that I am not too happy about. I am already having a hard enough time understanding why every guy on the planet has Guitar Hero 1, 2 and 3, when some current events as of late started giving me the BGs (bubble guts). I’d like to take this time to point fingers and over analyze what the f*ck is going on…

First of all, I need a moment of silence, because my man Reggie has not only been cheating on me with Kim Kir-dick-her-down, but he proposed to the b*tch. Look at him in the pic. Did he not just fall for a big booty and a smile? Now don’t get it twisted I’m not a hater and homegurl is fuckin’ hot, but that’s about it. Ask her to count to ten or name three popular presidents. I bet the only Bush she knows is my man and what used to surround her vagina. I mean it's not like the Bush's were popular presidents, but the question will probably confuse her so much she might offer a blowjob. Does anyone want to make it interesting and throw some money down on how long they are going to last? Come on, I got $20 on it. Do I hear $30?

Second, I don’t know if anyone heard about the tiger attack at the San Francisco Zoo, but you can check out the story here. Allegedly some teenagers were taunting a Siberian Tiger and well, uh, the tiger attacked them, duh. I’m sorry, but since when is it a smart idea to taunt a Siberian Tiger? Sh*t, since when is it a good idea to go to China, capture a wild animal, bring it to the U.S. and then charge people to gawk at it all day, everyday? Gheezus! Don’t people watch movies or read books anymore? Never mind, that was a rhetorical question on the reading part. Anyway, it is a sad story because a 17-year-old boy named Carlos died and they shot the tiger. Personally, I feel bad for the tiger.

On another note, I come back from vacation and Bottle Blonde not only has the biggest boobies in the blogging industry, but she won an O Hell Nawl T-shirt. Where is my T-shirt? Where are my boobies? This is an outrage! I may not fill it out as well, but I got mad skills. Can I at least get some O Hell Nawl panties?

One last thing before I get back to doing some very important things that are so important I can’t even begin to detail them. (I have absolutely nothing better to do right now). For kicks I added a site meter to my page and it seems I have some stalkerish leery activity going on over here. Ms Puddin’ had about 500 visitors in the last week, which does not add up to all the comments posted. If people are coming over here just to jack off please let me know. I will kindly direct you to my MySpace, there are so many more better (did I just say more better?) quality photos over there...

40 comments:

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Bottle Blonde won a tee shirt? No fair!

Sorry about your boyfriend proposing to that whore. He's a fool for not seeing about you.

I'll kick a tiger's ass if he attacks me. I'll go Michael Vick on his circus-performing ass.

em said...

Yes, she certainly does have some boobs doesn't she? (I think I'm one of the 500 so I figured I should say something) Nice blog!

Marcus Langford Is The Name said...

@ the tiger story.

I would imagine that anyone that watches the news or frequents the Internet knows all about the tiger attack. Much like yourself, I feel sorry for the tiger. The boys that got themselves mangled and killed by this beautiful BUT wild beast...well they pretty much deserved it! But the tiger did not deserve to die and I am so sick of people doing that to animals just because they feel it is the safe thing to do.

Something similar happened a couple of months back when this fool-a** criminal ran into a gator infested pond and got himself chewed to death. They killed two of the gators, like it was their fault that dummy ran into their place of habitat.

I simply shake my head at these accounts, because it just goes to show man's ability to just destroy life at will and with no regard.

Marcus LANGFORD

Deutlich said...

I heard about that tiger incident too. Who the fuck is dumb enough to taunt a 660 lb animal with sharp teeth and nasty claws??

Oh. Wait. I know...

Idiots.

Divalicious said...

Ok, that chick is a skank and most likely only good at one thing. As a blind bet, I give it less than a year.

The tiger was the victim. Teenagers can be completely and totally self-centered and do utterly stupid things without thought of what the consequences might be.

BB's boobs are nice in that tee, huh? You deserve one too, I'd go for the pantie/tee set.

My MySpace is even more boring than my blog.

MsPuddin said...

bug’s butt- thanks for the sympathy, but my man should come to his senses soon. If not I think I’ma just go to the zoo and take it out on a tiger…

em- damn BB, making us girls look bad…and welcome!

marcus- ok see I’m not the only one. Not only do I love tigers, but I hate teenagers. Go figure they would have something to do with it. We need to leave all that wildness where it came from.

The lady who does my hair is from Africa and she pointed out how over there the animals do their own thing and the humans do theirs.

deutlich- surprisingly enough idiots do a lot of stupid things…

divalicious- lol at your MS, you need to pimp it mamas…

BottleBlonde said...

This is a funny ass post, Ms. Puddin!

First off, that Kim chick is stunningly gorgeous. But her personality makes me wanna set off a round of firecrackers in my vagina to keep from falling asleep.

Secondly, I feel bad for the tiger, too. I hope he took a good chunk out of the stupid asses who survived.

Thirdly, THANK YOU for the free publicity, sexy! Or booblicity, as it seems. Pimpin' me out like that and posting those NYE pics of yourself in your previous post makes me wanna touch you inappropriately. *boobie squeeze*

And lastly, you keep postin' pics of yourself and you're gonna have to hire your own bodyguard to fight off the stalkers.

country roads said...

I'm a stalker, I admit it :-)

I think they should've given the tiger a medal.

Slaus of O Hell Nawl said...

As a cat lover, and loather of teenagers, Im going tot ake the cats side first and foremost.

Ya know what tiger's do when you fugg with them? they fugg with you.. real.. real hard. Fuggin with an 500lb cat, and you can cancel christmas.

If a tiger can bring down an 800lb bison, the fugg you think he's going to do with your 175lb fall out boy t-shirt wearing azz.

Get em kitty.

- and what did I tell you about Kim K... fugg a dime piece, baby girl is a dollah... as long as he doesnt open her mouth for anything other than penis pleasures.

You'd have to be wealthy to have a woman like that, cuz you cant trust a dumb heffa like that on her own. She'd need a baby sitter or something. Bytch needs 24 hr supervision. I'd be afraid of her trying to tie her own shoes, let alone prepare dinner.

But.... i'd hit it tho. relentlessly. DO shyt that aint even legal to do to farm animals

CapCity said...

Wishing u a great 2008!

Regarding the tiger tale:
Men always fuggin' wid de kitty then surprised when she SLAPPS his azzz! LOL!

Laughing through my chardonnay said...

Yeah, that hooch that Reggie is engaged to needs to just go away. Why is she famous anyway? I just don't get it.

MsPuddin said...

bb- f*ck free publicity, I come back from vacation and to ripe melons are smiling back at me, with the words O Hell Nawl slapped across the front. I think I’ma be sick. And laughing at a firecracker in your vagina, sh*t trying to imagine it…

country roads- ha! I caught one! Just don’t chop me up into nuggets and leave me on the side of the road…

Slaus- all that and you would still hit it. You re fired. Farm animals? Seriously I worry about you. I could not see myself ever getting down with a goat again, wait what?

capcity- thanks, you too! And we ve already established over at O Hell Nawl that men are just stoopid, period. Especially when the kitty kat is involved…

chardonnay- well, she posed naked for Playboy and has a sex tape, doesn’t take much these days…

The Guv'ner said...

Is that Kim Kar-douche-ian's ass even real? She has this puny little girl body then MASSIVE REAL ESTATE BOOTY. It's not natural. She's a beast. A beast who likes the pee-pee!

Preposterous Ponderings said...

Seems as if mighty fine women come in all flavors in Blogland.

Still_Pocahontaz said...

I LUV YOU JUST BECAUSE.......YOU ARE THE FUNNIEST CHIC EVER..

PLUS FROM YOU SAID.....

SLAUS SAID THIS.....
But.... i'd hit it tho. relentlessly. DO shyt that aint even legal to do to farm animals

bwahahaHahaHa...SNORT...bwahahaha

Ms. Behaving said...

Ms P gurl...you are HILARIOUS!!!!

I read about that incident with the siberian tiger and I just wanted to point out that you don't have to be a rocket scientist to know you ain't got no bidness fuggin' with one'a those!!.

Now...I can't vouch for the next person but ummm I personally ain't taunting shyt I can't swat away from me or stomp square into the pavement.

These chiiren be acting like it can't happen!!!!

Mister Underhill said...

Ut oh. Does that mean you can see like 900 visits from las vegas? Now I will have to only wank it to BB's blog like before.

Muze said...

lmao at this whole post. lol.

umm guitar hero..i don't get it either. you're not lenny kravitz. let it go. lol.

let me clear this up for you. reggie is MY man. i just let her borrow him for his especially nasty days. of course i have to scour him clean with bleach when he comes home...

poor tiger. like chris rock said..."that tiger didn't go crazy...that tiger went tiger!"

i'm sooo jealous of bottleblonde's boobs. and when you get those oh hell nawl undies make sure you order two pairs and send me one.

and OMG about the sitemeter thing. i know EXACTLY what you're talking about. i average about 20 comments (from usually the same twenty people) but i get like 120 hits a day. sooo creepy. lol.

i was recently offered a plane ticket to go visit a male blogger whom i had no knowledge existed until i got that email. creepy? hell yeah.

sigh. what is a hott blogger chick to do. lol.

Muze said...

If a tiger can bring down an 800lb bison, the fugg you think he's going to do with your 175lb fall out boy t-shirt wearing azz.

lol. slaus is a mess.

Slaus of O Hell Nawl said...

LOl @ muze and Puddin

Forget bofe of yall RockBand and Guitar Hero is a damn Muuuuuuust!!

Don said...

You can't lose with either Kim Kardashian or Bottleblonde's chest.

@slaus: too funny, dawg.

c.watson said...

I guess I should say hi as I'm not a stalker (too lazy and I like guys not that you're not a hot chick because of course you are but I've gone off on a tangent) I should probably comment on the funniness of the post but feel that it's been done adequately enough and don't want you to get a fat head.

And damn BB fills out a t-shirt (I swear I'm a girl)!

Steph said...

sitemeter is the devils work, you'll get obsessed with it! I get about 500 hits a day and that translates to about 30 comments a day. Go figure.

Wait till you find your google searches. You'll never sleep again.

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

dang dont sound like yo man at all. well some real some of us are out here if u not a groupie LOL

and u hard on KIM LOL

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

lol guv'ner ....thats classic "MASSIVE REALESTATE BOOTY"

Eb the Celeb said...

I am laughing hysterically... happy new year... and I totally agree with you on the kim and reggie thing... are you serious... why do men marry trash like that and the good women out there like me and you are single...

Suite B said...

I should send you my life size cut out of Reggie...don't ask me why I have just know that I've enjoyed looking at him. I don't thnink my guy will let me bring that one to the house when we get married. I will fold him up and ship him to LA!!!!!!!

NYCPonderings Chick said...

ok, that tiger thing is seriously disturbing...any kid foolish enough to mess with a tiger should get eaten by one, wasnt there some old childrens fairy tale about that? except i think at the end of the fairy tale the tiger and the little boy got to eat pancakes together or something...

maverick said...

hey nice blog...came across thru surfing another blog...well tiger stories keep happening in my part of the world frequently..lol...newaz the sitemeter is fun..even i got it..figuring out alien footprints is amazing sumtimess :)

MsPuddin said...

guv’ner- and that real estate booty is for sale too, I wonder how much she charges…

pp- I’m telling you, it’s surprising our social life so web based…

still-p- I love you too, for just being you…Slaus is fired…

ms. b- ok, that was one thing my mother didn’t have to teach me. Just common sense is all, teenagers are a hot mess…

mister u- as long as I know it is u and your penis using my page for pleasure release then it should be ok. I do want you to fill out a form first…

muze- me and you gonna fight, Reggie is MY man! Damn you got stalkers like that? Get a bunch of free sh*t and send some my way woman…

Slaus- I know your ass be playing guitar hero, it’s a damn shame…

don- let me guess, you’d hit it…

c.watson- oh so my head size is visible, damn, I guess I need more make up. Yay! Boy boobs!

steph- your page is popular, you still get a lot of comments. I’m afraid to do a google search, might find my head on someone else’s body…

torrance- that b*tch! If I ever see her I’m cuttin’ off all that hair…*innocent face *

eb- I just had this conversation with a coworker, I’m like ugly and stupid chicks get all the hot guys. What am I doing wrong? Maybe I’m not slutty enough? No that’s not it…

suiteb- wow. You have got to post a picture of your life sized Reggie…

NYC- even if a tiger invited me to eat pancakes with him/her I would probably have to pass. I don’t like pancakes that much…

maverick- welcome! I don’t know what possessed me to get the meter, but now I’m just creeped out…

maverick said...

@ms puddin..lol abt being creeped out..forget abt it..u think too much on ur site hits n it ll b crazy..lol...take it as ur fan following..lol

cheers!!see ya at my blog sometime :)

G-Sweet said...

Good post homie...

Yes I don't feel too bad about the kid and the Tiger... lmao @
SLAUS,"fall out boy t-shirt".... hahahahaha

Annnd on to Kim... *sniff sniff*... I smell alotta hate in the air...
its seems to be mainly laced with estrogen... hmmm that's wierd... and
to answer EB THE CELEB... ur singlre cuz ur waitin for guys who
want trash, I mean kim...lmao

And yessss on to the bigger issue @ hand... I'm not a
breast man but damn BB...lol

G-Sweet said...

and ohhh yeaaa... why did some dumb fuck get escorted outta Oakland Zoo for sticking his foot in the fuckin tiger exhibit...

*shaking head*

just me said...

If i was a tiger I'd kick the SHIT out of anyone if they taunted me.

Suite B said...

I HAVE A SUPRISE FOR YOU ON MY PAGE!!!

Diarrhea of the Mouth said...

don't worry hun, her ass will get bigger and looks will fade and he will dump her ass faster then you can say "Kim who?". plus, do men really like an ass the size of a tug boat? i mean really, can you imagine the size of her shits? oh my goodness the horror.

Robot Zombie Vampire said...

If you think you're going to drop me a comment, then lure me even further down the puddin' hole with all these boob pictures, then bravo. You completely understand men.

DIAMONDKT said...

"Personally, I feel bad for the tiger."

Me too. I would morn the tiger before the people. What did they expect would happen when they piss off and provoke a wild animal? He certainly wouldn't feel all warm and fuzzy and in the mood for cuddle time.

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