Brought to you by the folks over at OHN. I hate you all...
In other news...
I went to Target on my lunch break today, in hopes of getting something classy for my ex boyfriend from high school as a wedding gift. I felt kind of bad going to Target, but hey that’s where he’s registered and it’s my ex.
Once I printed out the registry and discovered the reoccurring theme of a losing football team, all shameful thoughts flew out the window. Listed was, an Oakland Raiders Table Cover, an Oakland Raiders 4-pc BBQ Tool Set, an Oakland Raiders Bedding Collection and an Oakland Raiders Frosted Pint Glass Set.
I started cracking up as I sifted through the list with my eyes. Was he using this wedding as the opportunity to catch up on his favorite team’s collectibles? A visual of a man I once loved twenty years later on the couch with a beer belly and no motivation in life flashed through my mind.
It was right then and there I decided not to be stingy. Instead of going bitter and stag to his wedding, I was going to be happy and celebrate. This girl he was marrying could have him. I tossed the list and opted to buy the happy couple a bottle of wine...
On my way out the store, this guy who obviously worked at Target, with his red button-up and “Jeremy” Target badge shouted out to me.
“Hey, weren’t you the girl eating at the register last week?” He asked.
“I wasn’t eating, I was putting a cough drop in my mouth,” I said defensively.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, you were eating.” he said. “Are you a regular here or something?”
“Hahaha no, I just work across the street so its convenient.”
“Oh,” he said. “Do you work at that place across the street that sells Hammer pants?
*Crickets*
No, I do not sit in an office all day and sell MC Hammer merchandise! And if I did work there and you were looking for some sort of re-live the 90s "two legit" hook up Mr., it’s not gonna happen!
Wait. Hold up, time out. Is there really a place somewhere that just sells Hammer pants?
And just to clarify, I was NOT chillin’ at the Target cash register eatin’ a snack…
