I'm In Las Vegas Bitch!

After becoming single (again) and unable to find work, I did what any normal person would do, I spent a week in Las Vegas. Originally I bought my last minute ticket because a friend of mine was having a bachelorette party and getting hitched in the same weekend. And who would want to miss out on that???

Since I have a friend who lives in Las Vegas, I ended up extending my stay, getting a tan, meeting a cutie and getting a call back for a job on my way home. So if anyone is ever having a hard time, I would just recommend some pain killers, a trip to Las Vegas and Happy Hour at the Blue Martini.

Life is crazy weird and it’s just shocking what a $4 martini in a new atmosphere will do for one’s mentality.

Oh and that’s not all either.

Something even more amazing happened to me at work yesterday. Are you ready for it? I was sitting at my desk when all of a sudden my phone vibrated to me this message, “I+think=I+figured+it+out”.

Could it be? Did my mom finally discover how to test message? A true beginner with her mistaking a plus sign for a space, but I guess we got to start somewhere. The woman still can’t figure out how to put her own phone on speaker. So the “its+mom” text that followed blew me away.

Fucking amazing!

Now when she asks me how I’m doing, I can fake enthusiam like I do with guys who I’m not really interested in, but still want the attention from, “Yeah! Dinner in a week sounds great!!!” * happy face * xo / *thumbs up *!!!!!!!!!!!!.

Was that not convincing?

And the best part is that when I send her a drunk text she will actually think we are communicating...

Me: “I’m a bar=threw=up, can’t panties find hair+++” * smiley face *.

Mom: “+++hope+you re Not=getting sick-have=fun+” *eyeless smiley face *

Top 5 Drunk Moments in Puddin' History

This is my 200^th post! Yeah boi! Lets get naked!

In honor of myself (really, enough about me), I thought it would be cool to take a stumble down my drunken memory lane. Pretty much to remind us all that a camera + alcohol = a bad idea.

So please, sit back, grab a cocktail and enjoy the Top 5 Drunk Moments in Puddin' History...

A recent pic of me at a rock star party strikin’ my signature pose…

I couldn’t even get up, but I sure was trying…

Ok, I’m not even sure whose car that was and I’m pretty sure my friends just propped that cigarette in my hand to make me look even cooler…

Just feeling up a guy in his wedding dress, don’t mind me…

I’m such a fuckin’ lady…

Ok that last one wasn’t me. Seriously.

MsP

Did I mention I have theme music?

...because I do.

The Rock Star Challenge

As we all know when I get drunk I do this…

Actually sometimes even when I’m sober I still do this…

So Slaus, from over at Oh Hell Nawl, and I have decided to put together a little contest. I want to see YOU the readers/writers/blog whores, make YOUR best rocker/Puddin’/tongue picture! Slaus thinks he’s got it, but I know a few of my readers mentioned they make the same faces when they party. (???)

We want to see!

So I’m giving those of you who are bold enough A WEEK, to send me a picture of YOUR best rock star face. That gives you the weekend to get with loved ones, friends or the hooker on the corner of 31st and Market Street, so they can snap a picture of you lookin’ crazy! Yay!

Email it to me, mspuddin@gmail.com.

C’mon, don’t be shy. I promise if you send me a pic I won’t stalk you, just your blog! There will be prizes! It depends on how many entries we receive to determine how many prizes. Why? I don’t know, but the more the better! Tell your blog friends! Can’t wait to see the craziness!

* disclaimer * Please refrain from sending photos of your naked ass. If you get too drunk, passing out between the coffee table and the couch before capturing the perfect rocker image, keep the evidence to yourself. No pictures of you having sex with animals or other foreign objects are necessary. Make sure to wipe the crust out your eyes and boogers out of your nose before posing. Once you send Ms Puddin’ a picture of your craziness, you are giving her the right to possibly make a joke at your expense. ;p

MsP

Ridiculously Good Looking

I’m lookin’ good these days. I’m turning heads, breaking necks and getting $1 bills tucked into my Oh Hell Nawl panties.

How do I know I that I am so ridiculously good looking?

Well, the other day at work this girl turned to me and said, “You look really pretty today. You used to be like kind of ugly, but lately you have been looking better.”

“I had some work done,” I said in response.

I’m sure somehow, in some twisted way, my coworker meant that as some sort of compliment??? Nine times out of ten, I don’t put in a whole lot of effort when getting ready in the morning. So it’s good to know on a day I took the time to shower, put on my face, smell good, brush my teeth and hair, somebody noticed. Sheeeit.

I’ll admit to coming to work lookin’ a little tore back, occasionally, but damn. She’s lucky I wasn’t suicidal, because she could have been the culprit for me going home and having a “Britney moment”. When I hear little comments like ^hers^, I tend to take it lightly. In my opinion, can’t please all the people all the time. I know if I really wanted to, I have the potential to look alright.

Besides, beauty is only skin deep, right? RIGHT!?? I know I’m throwing out a lot of clichés in this post, but honestly our society has a real misconception of beauty…

(Is she really applying make up to a skeleton??? Get that b*tch a chicken wing stat!!! Make it spicy!!!)

Anyway, I had a request for a pic of me “without my face all scrunched up”. Since I’m really, really good looking these days, I thought I’d go ahead and throw up a decent Puddin’ flick. I’ll let my readers be the judge of my so-called “beauty”.

For the record, the best compliment I have ever received was, “you’re pretty, but your personality makes you even more beautiful”.

Tell me , what is the best compliment you’ve ever received???

Photo Album I: Why is Ms Puddin' So Special?

I have a request from Don to post more pictures of myself. I'm not sure why he wants to see more photos of me, but the fact that he wears XL Magnum condoms is a good enough reason.(Don, call me).

Anyway, after I got his request for more photos, I started flipping through my photo albums. I wanted to make sure that if I posted pictures of myself, mainly for people who don't see me everyday, they know I'm a hottie.

Now as I started sifting through the craziness, I noticed I have a dilemma. Most of my pictures make me look special. There is even one where I am wearing a helmet. The pictures get a little better towards the end, but how can I argue I'm not as weird as I look, when I look like this...

or feeling up a sculpture in Vegas

or giving two very enthusiastic thumbs up...

oh and of course here is me in my helmet...

Aha! I found a normal picture! Here I am. Ms Fresh Banana Puddin'...

Signature Face

Those who read my blog might already know that I have a signature move. I did some more observational research on my camera whoring and discovered I also have a signature face. It might also explain why I am single…

Yes people like to grab my boobs, don't be jealous...

Signature Move

As a writer (blogger?) I know I'm having a bad day when I have to entertain people by posting pictures of myself. It never was my intention to do such things, but I’ve started to notice there is something wrong with my arm. In every picture I've taken lately it is UP.

50% of these pictures were taken sober too. I hope it doesn't get stuck this way...