Monday, March 24, 2008

Would you gold dig it?

Ladies, ladies, ladies, I’ve noticed a shift in my readership. I used to get a lot of male commentary, now it seems to be coming from the ladies. Maybe I don’t put out as much as I used to? I don’t know, but there’s nothing wrong with this, in fact I want to take the opportunity to write something for my female readers.

A while back I wrote a post about how men always go on and on about how disgusting a chick is. Gonorrhea, one eye, snot bubbles, dookie booty, a missing toe and a hairy back often times will not prevent a man from still tapping that ass. Slaus even went ahead, (possibly jeopardizing his man card), to explain the three categories men put women into:

1). Id wife her.
2). I'd hit it.
3). I'd hit it if I don't have sh*t else to do, like: nothing is on TV that day. Xbox live account is down.
4). I'd never hit that sh*t. nevah.

So ladies now it’s your turn, but since we are ladies, I guess the question would be more so “would you gold dig it?” Fellas to be fair go ahead and toss in your two cents, but ladies, if the price was right would you…

F*ck with Flava Flav? (Yeah boi!)

Now I know this nucca is black as hell and has like 15 baby mamas, but somehow he still manages to have 20 women per show throwing their wet panties at him. On a good day he will take you out for some fried chicken and while you’re out you might get to sport one of those fancy clocks. I mean who could pass up the chance to possibly get a cool nickname like, “booty-cheeks” or “cherry popper”?

What about R. Kelly?

Now ladies, I know what you are thinking, “he only likes to piss on underage girls.” But I’m sure if you asked him, he wouldn’t mind pissing on you too. Yum!

How about mini me aka Verne Troyer?

Think abut this for a second, because technically he is the perfect height. The money might be soooo worth it.

Joe Francis?

Ok I went out on a limb with this guy, but hey, at least it will be easy to get into one of his videos. Just walk around the house topless and intoxicated.

55 comments:

Suite B said...

HELL NO - to everyone on the list. Wait one second, how much money are we talking...just kidding.

Slick said...

My picture ain't even up here. What the hell is this about?!

Your male buddy is 100% right :)

surviving myself said...

at least Flav would keep shit interesting.

eclectik said...

Welp...I'm all man and I LOVE this blog.

If the role were reversed I'd Gold dig, but shed have to have a bangin shape LOL

Nilla wafer how's it goin!?!?

eclectik-relaxation.com

Still_Pocahontaz said...

I love watching Flavor Flav’s show…but I couldn’t gold dig it if the shyt was direct deposited to my account…just couldn’t!!

Kisser Pisser aka R KELLY..COULD NOT GET IT…he’d be all…..so what’s your little sisters name again..UGH

The midget…::breaks in to tears::, lets move on

I might have to bend Joe F over and video tape him in an uncompromising position…of course he would have to be topless and intoxicated..LMAO

Miss Mika said...

LOL @ Still_Pocahontaz's comment! Comedy!

I'd have to agree with Suite_B. H E double hockey sticks NO to each and every one of them.

*shivers*

Come on Ms P, how are you going to just leave us with options like THAT??

Mizrepresent said...

1. "Hell to the NAW!

2. "Hell NAW!"

3. "NAW" (thinking, wait a min...u do make a point)

4. Don't like white meat!

Slausin-Ass Slaus said...

: LMAO :

Puddin baby, you gone stop bringin up OLD shyt!! I aint gonna say a damn thing around here ever again if you are going to bring that ish up to haunt me latah! : rolling :

[ dat shyt is true though ]

and im going to call Shenanigans! ALl these lady ass ladies are lying! For enough damn money, you'd let Flava bang it. quit lyin! LOL. FOr enough money and no one being able to find out, aint much folks won't do for the cash

For enough money, I'd youtube myself carrying a nekkid ass nekkid Vern troyer on my back like a lil nude ass muppet.

and for a brand new shiny Ford harley Davidson edition pickup truck, I'd sex aretha franklin down after she just gave a sweaty ass performance on stage and she just smelled like all types of just motion.

selina said...

I say no to all of them. That's mainly because I am shallow.
They have to be at least visibly appealing for me to consider it.

anonymousnupe said...

Added incentive: To the untrained eye it appears that Verne Troyer is displaying the "Peace" or, more accurately, the "Victory" sign. But the truly initiated and inculcated recognize it as the international "I'd fanger it" high sign. Yeah, think about it, ladies.

Z'maji of HauteBlogXOXO said...

If I had a vagina, I'd stitch up my hole and reinforce it with construction grade staples if these were the men I had to boink!

I feel so sorry for women that have to bang dudes for cash.....'you has my sympathy' - Mistas daddy, Color Purple

Brittany_83 said...

Like everyone else I say no to all of them. I also don't like white meat.

Eb the Celeb said...

If I had to pick between them... I'd do the midget... hoping that it would be quick...

the rest are just straight nasty

12kyle said...

one of your faithful male readers has stepped in tha building!!!

So none of the ladies would want a piece of Flaaaavor Flaaaaaaaaav???? lmao

what if the money was right and the lights were off?

Hadassah said...

NO WAYS !!! None of them!

Hadassah said...

NO WAYS !!! None of them!

Hadassah said...

NO WAYS !!! None of them!

G-Sweet said...

*sticks head in kitchen window*... ans *yells*

"YALL SOME LYIN ASS WOMEN!!!"...

So nobody huh.. Wow... yall sellin it... and I aint buyin it...lmao!

MsPuddin said...

suite b- see w enough moola, I could make it worth your while

Slick- my bad…hit me up in my gmail account

Surviving m- ya feel me?!

e- its goin great! How r things on the other side?

All these rules and regulations

Still_p- haha this is why I love you girl…I don’t know direct deposit got flav lookin kind of nice..

Miss mika- lol my bad, I was going to add Michael Jackson, OJ and Eminem to the list, but I changed my mind

Mizr- tell me how you really feel!

Slaus- damn I should have added Aretha to the other list! Oh yall are so going down on round 2!

Selina- golddiggin is shallow, I think you got the game twisted lol

Nupe- hmmm so mini me is multi talented! Hay!

Z’maji- welcome! Boink (hee hee) yeah, but in the real dating game, things aren’t much different, we just aren’t getting paid to talk to some of these losers…

Brittany- hi there! Damn, we got some discrimination against the booty up in here!

Eb- short and sweet!

12k- haha you don’t need the lights out with a nigga like flav, he black as hell!

Hadassah- lol ok!

g- ya feel me, I didn’t get no takers. In fact I got more men saying they would handle that then the women, it’s a damn shame…

oestrebunny said...

Who is the last guy?

R. Kelly is creepy!

Bella said...

Girl, just what are you trying to do? Scare the sh*t out of us???

Funny post.

Deutlich said...

Honestly? Not NEVAH on all counts. 'Cause... ew.

Slausin-Ass Slaus said...

Puddin - pssssh. unlike the womennnnn here, the fellas aint gonna cover up nothing.

I bet if you post the equivalent with a bunch of slack azz chicks, your answers will be quite different fromt he fellows.

cuz the fellllas.. aint worrying about looking like trick tramp hoes. We are quit comfortable with our ridiculousness.. WE, aint gone front. Aint that right G, Nupe, Kyle, etc.

Cash n prizes, just for busting a nut? mannnnnnn point me in the right direction.

anonymousnupe said...

Sorry, Slaus don't speak for me. Ok, yeah he does.

KIKI said...

FUGGGG THAT!!! For the right amount of cash...HELL YEAH...my broke ass would gold dig it...dig it?

Flav...that's what they make paper bags for, aint it?!

Arah...as long as he emptied his bladder on someone else first, we fuggin.

Mini me...perfect height for likcin my honey pot & rubbin his bald head against my...never mind...you get the picture...

And Joe...long as aint no video camera's running...hey....

catscratch said...

Bachelor #1- Uh, no, not if the world depended on it.

Bachelor #2- No. Not even if he stayed away from my ass.

Bachelor #3- Nope. It's wrong in a bad porn flick kinda way.

Bachelor #4- Negative. Who could bang somebody so goofy lookin?

12kyle said...

@ Slaus
You damn skippy! LOL

We don't care. It is whut it is. Haaa

Slausin-Ass Slaus said...

lol @ my baby Kiki. that's right aint no damn shame girl! tell that trufe! Shiiit Ive seen women endure much mo, from cats valued at much less.

@ Nupe - you know you aint right, right!

@ kyle - : dapz : fo real son!Cats could clown all they want. call me all types of names, iont give a daaaaamn.

" ugh lookit Kyle, SLaus, Eclectik and Nupe. They did a Gang bang on Aretha franklin's left under tiddy region. Mmm hm girl they some nasty hoes..... riding in those brand new Infinit's with built in snoopy snow cone makers.

Shiiit I'd even hit it extra hard, if we could get a built in DJ booth for Ecletik while we drove around town frontin.

while ya Booolsh*tn, I might come out my drawls for a full tank of super unleaded, while ya playin.

Monie said...

I just threw up in my mouth. A little bit.

G-Sweet said...

I dunno what SLAUSE is talkin bout...

*thinking* I know exactly what Slause is talkin bout... hahahahahaha!

karrie b. said...

IMMA BE HONEST.

flav??? if he paid my college tuition, i'd take it.

i'd gold dig r.kelly, only cuz he's decent looking.

verne might could eat it. (that sounded super hood)

and whitey too.

-KB

MsPuddin said...

I leave for two seconds and this is what I come back to! Oh it’s so on! I did give the ladies some f*cked up choices and the guys some not so much. I need to do some web searching, I’ll be back…

Lady Cameleon said...

As "high and mighty" as i be actin on everything else.....here i can introduce my flaw which is "%2 Shallowness"...lol...Ugh disgusting!!! But know really heres my "real" problem, Im so used to f'n wit "Broke Fools" I wouldn't even know how to Gold Digg if i had the opportunity....lol.....j/p............

Lady Cameleon said...

and karrie b (shakin head)...you hella funny......hella nasty...but hella funny...lol

Afrodite said...

Sorry Puddin', it's a negative to all those guys.

Prunella Jones said...

Hmmm I guess if I had to choose one it would be the midget. I do have a fantasy of being gang banged by hobbits.

Babyfaced said...

COMEDY at most of the female responses

"NO" "HELL NO" "You got to be trippin"

Which further proves most women will always lie in front of other women. Most of the women in the world has already messed around with a dude similar to this for free and no star recognition to it. *think about it* most people has that one person they were like "AWWW SHYT why did I do ________"

Like Slaus said for the right amount of cash and MIB minderaser thingie, yall would put a strap on to Lil Wayne in a second!

Baby Kiki Wallace, Reporter said...

:: raises hand ::

um...

:: bites finger ::

...I gotta say, I'm with Kiki, I got student loans to pay and I ain't ashamed to say it.

Relationship? - no
Sex? and bills paid? - um, hell to the yeah

Flav - with the lights off

Kelly - I'd put on a school girl outfit and make him watch me.

Mini me - might be interesting. Hell..try something once. :: shrug ::

Joe - I'd tie him up and make him beg

...jus sayin

Demon Hunter said...

Er no to all of the above. Flavor is just ugly, regardless of his dark complexion. Actually, I prefer dark brothers. :*) Mini me---eeeew, no. R. Kelly, child molester--no. Joe can only get drunk chicks. No to them all. Just nasty...lol.

NYCPonderings Chick said...

im actually attracted to r kelly in a weird 'someone i shouldnt be attracted to' kinda way..

NYCPonderings Chick said...

im actually attracted to r kelly in a weird 'someone i shouldnt be attracted to' kinda way..

kayellejaye said...

I'm so anti-gold digging, but Kels is the absolute ONLY one that could get it.

I look young. He likes 'em young. He's got money. I need it. As long as he just sang to me and didn't talk we'd be alright.

I've been lurking in your archives for a few days now. Love the blog.

klj

D'lee Trecia said...

Prolly-R-kelly.. he ain't all crazy looking... since I look like i'm 15.. it looks like its on... lmao... fool better do his business first... and buy me a house and a car and I'm good to go....

The rest nah....

Eb the Celeb said...

@Slaus--- thats cuz dudes are jus slack and dont care nothing about who they stick they dick in for free half the damn time so of course ya'll would f*ck anything for money.

karrie b. said...

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@ eb the celeb's comment to slaus.

bye.

-KB

Slausin-Ass Slaus said...

@ eb - Basically. : shrugs : we already KNOOOOW this.

Karine steffans is living PROOF of that.

... and i gotta say, thats a chick I would NOT do. Not even for a gat damn scooby snack baby!

but twoooo scooby snacks? probably.

CapCity said...

i been celibate THIS dayummm long - why end a good-DRY spell with a HEAVE-DRY spell? LOLOL!! couldn't get drunk enough to do ANY of them!!

James Tubman said...

whenever a woman has a vagina she has the capacity to get what she wants lol

so, if you are lats on a bill or whatever why not lol

i shouldn't be talking like this but you all know it's true

Ms. J said...

Yeah those student loans kicking my ass right about now soo.... Yeah all of 'em I'd do 'em, I've done worse shit for free! But you might see me in handcuffs on the news if Kelly nasty self try to piss on me! I like it freaky but I got a little self respect.

MsPuddin said...

Ok see this post wasn’t a total loss, some of you ladies ain’t playin, (ms j, kiki w, nyc and d’lee will work w mr kelly) you got bills to pay! lol I’m not mad prune juice work that midget out!

Speak on it eb, I had an ex that would stick his d*ck in a the heater if he had to, ol nasty ass…

Damn cap, celibacy ain’t no joke, how is THAT goin for ya?

James, putting the pussi on a pedestal are we?

Baby face, slaus, nupe, etc. yall got another thing coming, I went too easy on you!

Sabina said...

Hell noes to all of those clowns, esPECIALLY Joe Francis. I'm just glad we can reject all of them and it's not some sadistic version of "marry, fuck, or kill."

Qucifer said...

I'll put it simply... I'd much sooner catch transmissible sexual diseases than involuntarily or voluntarily sleep with them ugly busted, mentally bankrupt/small ass douchebags.. if they were paying and I was broke

James Tubman said...

always

Phat Gurl Love said...

Ummm OK, I have to admit it...RKELLY, The R'uh, he has always been a fantasy of mine. Everyone else..umm hell to the no.

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