Thursday, March 6, 2008

Why Be A Fame Whore?

It’s official, I’m never trying out for American Idol. Not that I can sing anyway, but God forbid I make it to Hollywood and then pictures of me booty butt naked, on Santa’s lap, in Tijuana start circulating the internet.

I mean does it really make a difference that Idol contestant David Hernandez stripped at a club called D*cks before trying out for Idol? Funny, yes. Relevant, not really. I don’t even watch the show and I still heard about this guy shakin’ his d*ck, for d*cks at D*cks. (hee hee) I guess things would be different if he were to start taking off his clothes live on TV, because I would totally pop some popcorn and tune in, but to my knowledge he hasn’t done this (yet). It just sucks for him, because now he will forever be known as the “D*cks guy”. (hee hee) I would hate it if for every time someone said the word penis people were reminded of me. Almost like how we associate the word vagina with Britney.

I still don’t get why people want to be famous. Especially today when the paparazzi chase celebs down like they are cattle. I don’t know about you, but I think I could make it through my day without knowing where Angelina Jolie took a sh*t or which vein Amy Winehouse’s used to get off.

I guess some celebs are just asking for it like Michael Jackson who looks like my 3rd grade science project, R. Kelly, who needs to be given to charity, (can’t he spend a summer in Africa or something?) and Paris Hilton who doesn’t have any talent, has no choice. (Hey, what are you going to do when your sex tape sells more than your movie?)

The only the plus side of fame (besides the money and the booze) is that I might find some sh*t out about myself that even I didn’t know. I just hope I don’t have any kids, relatives in the Klu Klux Klan or ambiguous body parts. That would be devastating. If I was famous, it would be just my luck I pick a wedgie in public, someone snaps a picture and it gets printed in IN TOUCH magazine with the headline, “Ms Puddin’ Has A Hemorrhoid Infection”. Honestly, if you dug deep enough the most dirt you would get on me is that I fart a lot and I have side burns.

Would you want to be famous if the only catch was the world got access to your deepest darkest secret?

29 comments:

Deutlich said...

I don't watch Idol either but I heard all about this too. All I kept thinking was, "who gives a fuck?"

Apparently? More people than I thought. Iuno.. folks just need to get over it. It ain't that big a deal.

Opinionated Diva said...

I absolutely never ever EVER want to be famous...or rich!

People following me around and shyt...not for me!

I think this whole "scandal" is stupid! Nikki McKibbin was a stripper (think it was her ) before Idol...nobody fired her ass.

Demon Hunter said...

If they keep him, then Frenchie Davis from Season 2 should sue them because they kicked her off the show after they found out that she used to work for an adult web site. She wasn't having sex, just posing for pictures.

If they keep him, then Frenchie should sue Fox and American Idol. She'd be well within her right to! ;*)

anonymousnupe said...

I'd take rich, but I much prefer to ply my bidness in ambiguity. I have a difficult enough time disguising my tongue in public now that it's been all exposed on this blog. I can't even eat ice cream in public no mo. Naw, you can keep that kind of notoriety.

Still_Pocahontaz said...

Good post.

I wouldn't want to be famous cus every time they snapped a picture of me I'd be at the taco shop or walking the dog to the taco shop, or in a phone booth calling in an order to the taco shop....Its all
"Poca puts hot sauce on fat burrito....AGAIN!!!!"...LMAO

LadyShay said...

I think it's bullshit that they try to fuck people over because of what they did in the past. That shit should have nothing to do with them singing their heart out.

As for being famous, hell no I would be in court every other tuesday for fucking up some papparazzo. But I will take the money:)

Solitaire said...

YIKES!! You make being famous look like a horror story. Yeah, I want to be famous. But only in my field. And that is the difference. There will be no media running after me to get a strategic picture of my butt because I do not want to be famous in the world of glamor.

12kyle said...

Good post!

I wouldn't want to be famous. It's too much of a hassle. I like doing simple things that famous people can't do...like going to a bookstore, going to the grocery store, or shopping at the mall. People feel that they are justified by invading your privacy and merely brushing it off as "the price of fame." Keep the fame. I don't need it.

Ms.Lady said...

Im not an Idol viewer...I had no idea this was going on.

But ummm..to be famous..Nah..not for me..Id love to do what I love in peace..not being harassed by scandalous ass people.

Skoolboi Krush said...

I got way too many skeletons to be famous. Plus, I could never deal with the papparazi (sp?) without running a fool over with my car.

eclectik said...

Mannnn I aint got no secrets
...I dont think lol

I should be famous...Im the shit!

American Idol...As long as FINE Ass Syesha is there I am too!

e.

Christina said...

as someone said before, i want to be famous only in my field.
I dont like people all up in my business, in my personal space, watchin me pick my nose and publishin that shit lol

DIAMONDKT said...

Have you seen the "One Night In Paris" porno video? Honestly, she looks like a bore in bed. It nearly put me to sleep and that's a hard task to accomplish when it comes to porn!

Then again, in her defense, that dude she was doing may not have had the most thrilling stick...although I wasn't paying much attention to him, so you would have to judge for yourself.

Canon Adonis said...

Give me the fortune, you keep the fame... even though I am a hell of an actor... I would definitely smack the taste out of a paparazzi's mouth if they came at me with the camera

that's sad about Ol' Dickey on Idol... watch, if he makes it to the finals, he's gonna have a fan section in the crowd called the Dick-Heads. shame

MsPuddin said...

deutlich- they act like with all that’s going on in the world today THIS is THE most craziest of it all…

op diva- or rich? That’s new. But I feel you, money aint everything…

demon hunter- I haven’t been following all the scandals, I just head about this one because they were making such a stink about it, but damn she should!

nupe- I know, the ladies had to do a double turn neck stretch to look at that tongue of yours. I like to eat ice cream in private too…

still_p- damn poca, you sure do like tacos! Lol that’s funny because I’m always eating tacos too…

ladyshay- lol I thought you were gonna say no because you be in court period…

solitare- interesting, what is your field? Or will that blow your cover? J/p lol

12kyle- ya feel me. What if I have to go buy tampons…

ms.lady- ditto

skoolboi- lol damn, ladies man, huh

e- lol you are! You and them damn shows, you got a girlfriend n every one!

christina- oh, so you re admitting to picking your nose then ? lol

dkt- no! and I want to see that and I missed Pam n Tommy Lee’s too. I want to see this penis of his lol…

canon- haha d*ck heads, pretty much. A lot of people talk about smackin the pap. I wonder what it is really like, because I have a short temper myself…

catscratch diva said...

Helllll no.

There's not enough money in the world that would make me desire a famous and public life.

I mean, I air all my dirty laundry right here, so there's no real dirty anybody could find, but to be under constant scrutiny... uh, no.

NYCPonderings Chick said...

i am so OVER all these tabloid stories..who cars anymore, im done with brit brit and all the rest...but i would like to have their money thats for sure...and spend it on...booze lots and lots of booze

NYCPonderings Chick said...

i am so OVER all these tabloid stories..who cars anymore, im done with brit brit and all the rest...but i would like to have their money thats for sure...and spend it on...booze lots and lots of booze

Jocular Schlemiel said...

I think the problem with these tabloids is that they are kicking people when they are down as opposed to ribbing them while they are on top.

Brit will check herself into an asylum due to the rate the stories are coming out about her.

G-Sweet said...

I wanna say yea... but the fact that I like my personal life to stay personal I wanna say no...

Fuck it for the money I'll take the fame!

KIKI said...

I think I am famous so....

I think the big hype (which was refferanced in the article) is that why have these other performers on Idol with this kind of background have been allowed to go thru, when contestant Frenchi (who is also the only black with this predicament) was banned from the show for damn near the same thing.

But now my question is...since when the hell do you need a liscence to strip? The owner said that ole boy doesn't dance there anymore because he didnt renew his liscence...WTF!?

karrie b. said...

"shakin’ his d*ck, for d*cks at D*cks..."

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

i don't wanna be famous, but i wanna be wealthy. if i became famous the tabloids would f*cking eat me aliiiiiiive. a mess. all kinds of exes and ex friends jumping out the bushes to destroy me. i'll pass.

-karrie b.

Muze said...

maaan i left a comment but it was an error. blogger sucks. guess i'll try to remember what i wrote.

i'd take bestselling author fame, but never would i want blockbuster movie star fame.

even better would just be being wealthy. lol.

but for my deepest, darkest secret? ...i don't even think i have one of those really. lol. well, maybe i do. guess i would find out, huh?

shakin’ his d*ck, for d*cks at D*cks...

OMG you are stupid. lmao!!

Slick said...

Aren't all the cool kids stripping nowadays??!

Oh, and clean that infection up puddin

Christina said...

hell yeah i am! LOL

selina said...

I just want to be a rich recluse....so I have crazy dough but no one knows me.

Qucifer said...

I prefer R. Kelly shot by somebody's brother


other than that no thank you I don't want no fame, give me their moolah though


OH the horrible things that would come to light about me, my family might as well start being embarrassed today!

MsPuddin said...

catscratch- yeah I pretty much put half the deck on the table here on my blog…

nyc chick- can I come over? After you get the booze I mean…

joc- welcome! I know and then when something good happens, everybody be hatin’

gsweet- really…ok well handle that then lol

kiki- lol I missed that, sh*t you need a license to smoke weed so I don’t see why you wouldn’t need one to strip…

karrie b- ditto, and some ya feel me. Guys who didn’t even hit who will say they did cuz we met before, uh uh, not havin it!

muze- I hate when that happens…sometimes I type sh*t out in word first.yeah yeah yeah I want writer fame, not movie star fame…

slick- my bad, got my prep H on hand…

christina- ok!

selina- oh all the socialites will be all up in your mix, but it sounds nice…

qucifer- lol whatever, he’s gotta go! Yeah I need to go ahead and tell moms now that I don’t want her handing out old pics of me if I ever become famous…

UBERMOUTH said...

Well, I can answer that- bieng as I.AM.FAMOUS!
It's not the secrets that infuriate- it's the salacious lies that are told!