If It Ain’t Broke, Don’t Fix It

In a recent interview Heidi Montag told Extra that she wanted to make her boobs a size ‘H’ for Heidi. This was surprising to me, only because I wasn’t aware Heidi was up to the letter ‘H’ in the alphabet.

Heidi, who is only 23, is already a triple D after her second breast augmentation. And I’m guessing those breasts don’t feel nothing like sand. Nor do they feel like juicy clumps of fat as God intended.

By now I’m sure the news of Heidi’s interview with People Magazine on her 10 hour plastic surgery procedure has been well spread. If not, recent photos of Heidi should suffice. She looks like a young Donatella Versace blow up doll. Don’t stand too close folks she might be exuding her toxins.

Yikes is right.

Bitch if you need 10 hours of cosmetic surgery to fix things just give up. Find something more satiable in your life besides your looks. Even her douche of a husband Spencer Pratt tried to talk her out of it beforehand. He suggested she might need therapy and thought she was losing her mind to go through with it.

I always joke around about getting my boobs blown up, but I think if it came down to it and I had the opportunity I’d pass it up. Although if they can find a way to make my big toe smaller so the nail lady doesn’t gawk at it when I get a pedicure, that would be nice…

If you could get work done, would you? Or have you and for what reason?

Big Black Taco

I was driving to work this morning when my thoughts were interrupted by a Taco Bell commercial. Taco Bell’s new ‘Black Jack Taco’ commercial to be exact. The words, “Black eye, black sheep, black jack, black taco,” were cooed into my ear over some dance music.

I don’t have cable so it was up to my imagination to decipher what they meant exactly. However, when ‘black taco’ is whispered into my ear like that, there are only a few places my mind will take me. So yes, for a brief moment my mind went there. And all I could do was hope the ‘black taco’ didn’t come with sour cream, and condoms. (Which I found out it doesn’t, thank God.)

After my perverted mind came back into reality I became slightly offended. Either their marketing team needs to get laid or fired. I know the economy is bad, so I’m not going to be the person to write the angry black taco letter to headquarters to get someone fired. However, there is no way to incorporate the color of the taco shell into that ad without being offensive.

Some things are just better left unsaid. Black, red, white tacos all just sound wrong. Can’t it just be a taco? Why must they associate color with it. Ok yeah I get that it’s physically black, I can see the damn thing, but come on. I can’t help but give the side eye when the message of their slogan is basically, ‘come eat our 89 cent black taco’…

*Pulls out black card in one hand and misogyny card in the other*

I’m just sayin…

Here is a version of the ad:

Hood Summer Fest 2009

So I went to a pool party @ the Clarion yesterday. * crickets * I know, that should have been my first red flag. I was lucky they even had a pool. It was a hood fest in its entirety. Clear plastic heels, fake Louis Vuitton and the guys came in groups of ten, dressed in plain white Ts with white towels on their heads.

There was a model contest. Let me rephrase that. There was a booty shakin’ contest. About 10 to 15 girls graced the stage (um box?) in their bikinis. Each one was announced by name and their hobby. I want to say that 90 percent of the hobbies had something to do with dancing, entertaining and possibly doing the splits.

All this happened within the first hour. I needed a drink. My boy was like, “Don’t trip, I got a bottle coming.” One hour later, in room 122 was a bottle of Hennessey, Patron and some cranberry juice. * side eye * I decided my best bet was the bar.

On my way back from the bar, I noticed some girl had decided to take a dip in the hot tub. She’s in the tub. Her fake ass ponytail was lying next to the tub. One of the 25 photographers at the party runs over, snaps a picture and then literally picks up this random girl’s hair and throws it in the trash.

OMG. Yes. This actually happened...

Let me not lie, even though I felt like I was cast in Plies’ next music video, I was entertained. And on the plus side there were no kids there and no one got shot. However, I knew it was time for me to go home when I found someone’s fake tittie (cutlet) on the ground.

Shout out to Big Dave Presents, Socially Flyy , QB Chronicles and BigBootyRemy for the photo!! You know I love you guys. All press is good press :)

Another Bald Headed Beezy

I first heard about this from the folks over at Oh Hell Nawl! Solange knew the paps would be outside to capture that fuzz puff. The least she could have done for my eyes was worn a hat or at least gotten lined up with a design. Halle, Amber, Rihanna, etc. hella women cut their hair short and made it look good. Solange looks like she didn’t even attempt to pro-style the edges.

I want to sit here and clown that mess of a haircut, but I kind of feel bad.

In my opinion when women cut all their hair off it’s because they are really going through something. Even Amy Winehouse’s beehive recently got significantly shorter. And we all saw Brittney with the umbrella and the I’m-going-to-eat-your-babies-bitch look in her eyes.

Solange posted something on her twitter earlier today about how she had too much to worry about versus her hair. And that she was just taking her son to school. She said that she didn’t get a style, because her intentions were never to make any type of trend or statement.

Honey, that haircut says a lot. That haircut says pay attention to me now damnit! That haircut says I don’t really have a career, I live in my sister’s shadow and I don’t know where my life is going. Someone. Please. Help.

Whatever she is going through emotionally, understandable, we all have our days. However, financially? Shieeeet. Her sister is Beyonce and her brother-in-law is Jay-z. Please tell me they couldn’t toss this heffa a couple dollars to go get lined up???

When karma punches you in the face...

I dub this as Perez Hilton's new theme song...



It would be irrelevant for me to go on a rant right now about Perez and his antics as of late. I'm not condoning violence or picking sides, but didn't he have it coming? And I'm sorry but that was a good ass whoopin' son. It's like all the nasty things he's ever said about other people swelled up in his left eye.

I really do hope he signs up for John Mayer's, "Never Call A Black Dude a Faggot Jitsu" class...

Would you rather...

...be a single parent of 14...

...have eight kids and your partner cheats on you...

...or find out a child you've been parenting for years was never yours in the first place???

The Hills are unfortunately still alive with the sound of annoying people…

After reading comments to my last post, I realized I needed to clear my hills watching conscience, by trying to figure out why I even watch The Hills in the first place. I honestly have no fucking idea why I watch the show. I used to justify that question with, “I just like to see what everyone is wearing”, but five seasons in that sounds just as ridiculous as the cast.

Heidi Montag is annoying as fuck and I think if she bleaches her hair one more time, the crew is going have to start writing her name on cue cards. Her boyfriend, Spencer Pratt, is like having a Yeast Infection that won’t go away. Lauren Conrad aka LC, cries in every fucking episode. No seriously, her Christmas wish list should read, tissue, waterproof mascara and “I need a hug”.

Every guy on the show is the epitome of ‘douche’, except Brody Jenner and he only gets a get-out-of-jail-free card because he’s sexy as hell. However, I’d prefer it if he didn’t speak. Ever.

Speaking of speaking, I can literally feel myself become dumber with every episode, because ALL conversations on the show go something like this…

Annoying person #1: “Hey.”

Annoying person #2: “Hey.”

Annoying person #1: “What’s going on?”

Annoying person #2: “Nothing”.

Annoying person #1: “Have you talked to so-and-so?”

Annoying person #2: “No.”

And that’s pretty much it on dialogue. Yet, I hang onto every word hoping that one day someone on the show is going to unexpectedly bust out with something deep and meaningful like, “The Pluralistic Ignorance Theory” or “cheap places to get a good boob job”.

Which never happens.

And the best part? I don't even have cable!! I literally have to go out of my way, online, to catch an episode. (I should webcam myself temperamentally yelling at my computer because Heidi got back with Spencer for the hundreth time).

If you watch the show, I hope you can empathize with this post. Other than that this post was just as pointless as the show, because for some reason, I will still watch it.

And in other news...

I feel compelled to write Heidi Montag another inspirational letter on how to get a life and a new man. However, after watching her boyfriend Spencer Pratt and his looking-like-a-molester friend, act ‘gangsta’ on the Hills last night, I think I’ll just leave her alone for the time being. I wouldn’t want Mr. Pratt’s ‘peeps’ to come and ‘throw down hard’ on me for talking ‘smack’.

Besides, why waste time on them when there are so many other wonderful things happening!?

First of all, congratulations to Kim Kardashian for this impressive burn. Look! It’s Magda from “Something About Mary”, meets a very Persian Ooompa Loompa.

And then there was the crazy German lady who woke up and thought, “Hey today would be a great day to hang out with some Polar bears at the Zoo during feeding time.” *thumbs ups!* Remember the alleged tiger attacks at the San Francisco Zoo in 2007? Well that’s what they are trying to call this situation, a “polar bear attack”. I felt sorry for the tigers and I once again empathize with the bears.If I was hungry and some fatty jumped all up in my food for no reason, I might get nervous and bite too, sheiiit.

And last but not least, I feel like the 90s are trying to make a comeback.Like isn’t Ginuwine trying to revive his career?Keisha Knight Pulliam allegedly has a reality TV show coming out and you will never guess who I randomly bumped into at the club last Saturday?

No big announcement or extensive MySpace flyers were sent my way. I had just so happened to be at a particular club celebrating my roomie’s bday, when towards the end of the night the DJ hit us with some old school.“This Is How We Do It!” starting blasting through the speakers and I look over to my left and Montell Jordan is in the crowd on the mic!

He only did that song, before saying he would be in the VIP if anyone wanted to come and kick it.We went down to try and get a pic and there were like only three other people around. LOL I don’t think anyone knew who he was or why he was there. Does he have a new album out? Is the economy that bad?Either way, he was still looking scrum-dayyyyumn-yummie-umptious!!!

Your Publicity Stunt Is Gross

My ex used to make fun of me because I think that everything is gross.

Onions. Gross. Herpes. Gross. The sound of a banana when being chewed. Gross! Gross! Gross!

Not to mention, Kanye West’s ego, Tori Spelling’s boob job, Christian Louboutin’s new sneaker line, Amy Winehouse and waking up the next morning to find vomit in my hair that I didn’t know was there the night before, can all also be classified as gross.

However, I would rather watch a Billy Bob Thornton and George W. Bush rendition of two-girls-one-cup, while eating a Fear Factor delicacy on the toilet before exposing my eyes to this ever again…

Aubrey O'Day sucking on Kathy Griffin's tongue.Ew.

An Open Letter to Fergie

I probably shouldn’t be writing you this, but I guess it’s too late to turn back now. I just wanted to take the time to congratulate you on the new hair. It has done wonders for my eyes. And it also actually makes your eyebrows look somewhat normal.

Before, when you would sing about how glamorous your humps were, I didn’t get it. Something just wasn’t right. From my perspective your humps were not something to brag about and your face is definitely puffier than any lady. And then comparing yourself to a child with a blanket really sobered me up. I was so confused, not only because I wasn’t quite sure where I was at the time, but also because your face is the opposite of that of a child’s.

I’ve been seeing this makeover around the web for a few days now and gheezus what a world of difference this has done for you! Your new hubby may have enjoyed running his fingers through those stringy not quite blonde, not quite brown, ugly, greasy highlights, but I sure could have done without the visual. And thanks to your innovative stylists poof, it’s gone! Yay! Go team!

Anyway, I just wanted to express how happy I am that now when you sing I can actually enjoy watching the talent as well as hearing it. I don’t have to close my eyes and pretend that surprisingly good voice of yours is coming out of someone else’s mouth. It makes the experience that much more enjoyable. So yeah, thanks.

Sincerely,

Ms. Fresh Banana Puddin’
PS- Unfortunately, there still is that part in the middle …

Would you still hit it, again?

Well I came over to my boyfriend’s house the other day, (yes I have a boyfriend) and he nonchalantly had a porno playing on the TV. It wasn’t a plastic titty DVD with bleach blondes, big fake boobies and airbrushed booty. It was one of those real raunchy pornos where the viewer can see the chick’s razor bumps on her cooch during the penetration close-ups.

“Why are you watching a porno right now,” I asked. “And why this nasty one?”

“Oh my boy let me borrow it, I was just checking it out,” he replied. “I’m not really paying attention.”

Oh.

I was silent for a moment as I checked out the porn. Some perverted looking white guy was eating out this fat black chick’s pussi.

At least it was embracing biracial relationships.

“I’m sorry, but that chick is gross,” I said.

“Why,” he asked.

I don’t know, she just is,” I said, making a face, before asking the inevitable, “Would you have sex with her?”

“Ummmm, yes,” he said turning his head from left to right looking at her intently. “You will be surprised to find out, my dear, who a man will have sex with.”

Then he went on to tell me that given the opportunity he would have sex with Omarosa, Whoopi Goldberg, Star Jones (before and after surgery) and Paris Hilton. Thus opening the door to one of my most infamous debates, would you still hit it???

Usually for the fellas, but ladies feel free to toss in your oh so necessary two cents, because you know we always do…

Fellas, would you have sex with Oprah if she was broke? Doesn’t matter bigger or smaller, without money is Oprah still f*ckable?

What about Octo-pussi Nadya Suleman? Sure she might have a gaping vagina, jumbo sized stretch marks, be able to make her nipples hard with her knees and even attempt to pull off the condom during sex, but she looks like she can give a mean blow job...

And if the rumors are true and Rihanna did give Chris Brown herpes or the clap, does her sex appeal override the possibility of attracting a life long std???

An Open Letter To George W. Bush

Dear George W. Bush,

Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

Sincerely,

Ms Fresh Banana Puddin’

My McDreamy

Speaking of men…

I tried to post this singles add on craigslist, but it got sent back to me. The email read something about inappropriate content. Humph. How can I put out there what I’m looking for in a man if the Internet won’t let me? Anyway, here is the ad, you be the judge…

I am looking for a man who is between 6’ and 6’2”and has a great sense of humor. He must be moderately good looking with excellent hygiene. I don’t like pretty boys. Preferably a Libra, but I will also take Gemini or an Aries.

Penis size should be not too big and not too small. If things aren't looking good in this department, compensate.

I want an educated man who is still street smart. I don’t care what business he’s in, just as long as it isn’t drug or ho related. MUST pay taxes.

Please no baby mama drama. If you do have A kid that is great, however, they must not be a whiny little brat. Preferably potty trained and if they act up I get the right to karate chop them in the side of the neck.

About me: I am a 24-yr-old bartender, who is educated, but hasn’t quite found her niche yet. I’m not desperate, just bored with it all and wanted to spice things up. If you are interested, please email me at (mspuddin [at] gmail [dot] com).

And may the best man win.

Chivalry Died, The Penis Killed It

Ok boys, I’m going to give each and every one of you a chance to defend yourself, but not before I pop you all upside the back of the head.

Honestly, I am disappointed in the men of my generation at the moment. I’m not just speaking from my own experience this time, because three, not one, not two, but three of my girls hit me up over this last week with some, “oh hell naw!” stories about the men in their lives. From infidelity to lying to saying some stupid shit like, “you’ll have to leave the bar right now you’re fucking up my game.”

????????????????

I’m sorry, the only girls I will condone that kind of behavior towards is maybe the ones who walk around with T-shirts that read, “save a virgin, do me instead,” or “cock-a-doodle-do-me.” And I blame them too, but other than that, unacceptable.

Focus boys, focus. If you can’t grasp the concept that girls in porn get paid good money to two-girls-one-cup-it, we got a problem. Please understand reality TV is far from reality and networks purposely cast those girls to walk around on camera in their booty shorts with their titties hanging out.

They get paid to get drunk and make out with half the cast and staff. In fact it's more than likely in their contracts right next to, "blow the director." Besides most of them probably also have the I.Q. of a grape. And since when is that sexy?

What is the deal yo?

Guys listen up—pull out a fucking chair, buy some freakin’ flowers and “you’re ass looks phat in those jeans” does not constitute as a compliment. Also, don’t tell a girl you want to be with her if you can’t back it up by your actions.

For the most part I’m just really disgusted. I know some of the guys that read my blog are married, faithful and all around good guys. Well can you leave some pointers to the rest of the dumbasses out there?

Right now I am opening up my comments for a session on the etiquette of how to treat a lady or at least how to weed the ladies out from the floozies. And for those of you fellas who feel the need to defend yourselves, please, be my guests, because I just don’t get it.

Not Wanted

The job search isn’t going so well. =(

I finally dusted off my 2007 copy of Writer’s Market and as I turned to the page entitled, “Successful Freelancers”, to Larry Getlen’s smiling face I wanted to punch him in the face.

Except he was on paper so I couldn’t. However, when I flipped the page there were maybe two or three more other successful freelancers. And I kind of felt better. Like there is a chance in hell that I will be taken seriously as a writer someday and live out this “romantic career” as my mother calls it.

Speaking of my mom, we’re having a total email battle at the moment. Apparently we are both too busy to pick up the phone to simply yell at each other. Although it would probably sound something like this…

Mom: Blah! Blah! Blah!

Me: Omigod mom, you’re like so totally ruining my life!

I’m so mature, I know. I think I graduated from college and started high school all over again.

The 411 is that I’m the only girl out of four boys and therefore I am spoiled. $100 shoes used to constitute as a credit card emergency. When I was in school my parents were helping me financially and now that I have a degree they are cutting me off cold turkey. Sh*t, I haven’t even received that sucker in the mail yet, but no gas money, no booze money, no omigod-I wonder-if-they-have-those-in-my-size money, I gets nada.

Well I guess on the bright side, if I don’t find a decent job and my internet and phone get cut off I won’t have to listen to my mom b*tch anymore. According to her, it is really easy to find a job and I’m just not trying hard enough. It’s good motivation, but f*ck. If she gets any further up my ass I won’t even be able to fart, which is almost as important as finding a job.

*Oh and btw I have been diagnosed with Gerontophobia aka Fogiariasis aka Stank Heffaitis. So please keep all falsies, Depends and other things closely linked with death off this blog.

Thanks, MsP.

PS- Happy Fourth! Don't play with fireworks, you could die. =(

If I were an assassin, I wouldn’t get punked by old ladies…

I went to see Wanted yesterday by myself. I like going to movies alone, but Wanted was one I could have seen with someone else. However, I didn’t feel like going through all the trouble of finding a compatible schedule with a guy or a friend just to see a movie, so I said “f*ck it” and went stag.

I get into the theatre and there were about three other people in there as it was a matinee. One guy even cracked a joke as I sat down, “I’m sorry ma’am, but I don’t think there are enough seats left for you to watch this movie”.

I smirked a little, copping a seat in the handicap section. You know the place right in the middle where there is a gap between the bottom rows and the top.

Halfway through the previews an older couple comes in. I’m chowin’ down on my nachos not really paying attention to them as they are looking for seats. That is until the old lady comes right up next to me and asks if anyone is sitting where my purse is. I’m sorry, because the whole theatre is empty. I have bad luck with old ladies, so I decided to just get up and move one aisle up instead of arguing with her.

“You don’t have to leave,” she said.

I know I don’t, but I don’t understand why out of the entire deserted theatre, you have to sit your old crusty ass right next to me. I don’t want to sit next to you, humph.

The old man did have a cane, so I gave her the benefit of the doubt.

The movie wasn’t how I thought it was going to be, but it didn’t suck either. Seriously though, if Angelina Jolie is in one more movie as an assassin, I’m going to start thinking she is one in real life.

She looks like one, sh*t. I bet she is training all seven of her children to kill.

Although, I wish that when my life sucks and I have a panic attack, I could get in on my dad’s secret life as an assassin and substantial bank account. Being if my dad were an assassin in the first place. I could take out old ladies who think that just because they are old they can steal my movie theatre seats.

*hi-yah!* Bitch I’m a ninja, I will cut you!

On a side note, I found my soul mate in the blog world. He is a redneck and hilarious, check him out!

Also, vote for me here! I’m under humor and I gets no love… =(

Reason #4,153 Why I Don't Cuddle

Ok I was checking out -1-’s blog over the weekend and she had posted a clip from the Queens of Comedy with Sommore. Her nasty ass was talkin’ sh*t about the penis (of course), but not just any penis, little penis. She was commenting on why guys with little d*cks act surprised when you get to that part, like they just found out it was little too.

I was busting up, because this has happened to me before. I mean, I must say I’ve been pretty blessed for what I’ve been given in the penis-packaging department. The few * ahem * yes few, (looks over shoulder) I’ve seen have been worth my while, but there was this one. Yes, this one penis that made me mad. Well not so much as mad, just confused as hell…

It was like my sophomore year of college. I met this tall, sweet, handsome-chocolate-martini kind of guy. Bonus, he was also a Q, but he was different then all the other Qs. He wasn’t trying to dawg me out. I could just tell by the way he treated me. We spent a lot of time together and on the phone. It finally came time for me to make him mine. I was juiced. Ms Puddin’ was going to get her some chocolate, Q, lovin’! Oh yes!

So we got all into the moment, rollin’ around on my bed, kissing, caressing, and all that good stuff. When I reached down and wrapped my hand around what felt like my own index finger! WTF? I was so disappointed I pushed him off me, rolled over and went to sleep. I didn’t say anything. I spent the rest of the night with that little penis fingering my back. (Maybe that’s why I don’t like cuddling. I’m traumatized).

I’m sorry, but WOW. Some things I can work with don’t get me wrong. And I'm not one of those girls that needs a mandingo, but that has got to be…don’t want, don’t want, don’t want…lol

Sorry guys. Ladies? I know I am not the only one…

Life sucks and then I get a migraine for 72 hours...

No seriously, since Friday I’ve felt like when I sneeze my brains are going to come shooting out my ears. I don’t know what is wrong with me. I’m a hypochondriac, so it’s probably just a tumor.

I must have did something, to somebody, somewhere because my head is still pounding! I think one of the blood vessels in my temples is going to burst and release my evil chemicals.

Muah-ha-ha-ha!

In the meantime, while I suffer, I will attempt to distract you all from the fact that my wit is having a heavy metal concert in my brain, with a display of some interesting childhood memories.

I asked my mom and dad to send me some decent baby pictures. And they sent me these…???

Apparently one of my earlier hobbies was walking around the house with a paper bag on my head without undies. That’s my mom poking my belly and of course my dad was taking the photo. Thank God there wasn’t youtube when I was growing up.

Be back as soon as my head is better. ;p

MsP

An Interview with Heidi Montag

Well as some as you might know I have it out for The Hills “star” Heidi Montag.

She fits into that category of people-who-make-you-want-to-stab-yourself-in-the-eye-with-a-fork, repeatedly, as in over and over again. A neverending blinding irritation. I just don’t like her. Something about her makes me want to shoot her in the head.I would never do something like that.I don’t own a gun.I don’t know what it is though.I’ve never met Ms. Montag and I hope I never do. Seems like a conversation with her would be a waste of time. However, (in my mind) for some reason, I interviewed her…

MsP: How’s it goin’ Heidi?

Heidi: Good. Thanks.

MsP: That’s good. I guess. I heard you just recently launched your own clothing line, did you hear about this?

Heidi: Oh yeah! It was my idea.

MsP: Good for you, you had an idea. Fantastic.

Heidi: Yeah, it sucks though because I didn’t get as involved as I would have liked to. I was really busy getting all the fat sucked out of my thighs and running around on the beach in my bikini.

MsP: You have been looking a little slim lately, tell me, when was the last time you ate?

Heidi: A couple of days ago. I think. Wait, um yeah, it was Monday.

MsP: Really, almost a week now. What did you have?

Heidi: A grape.

MsP: Just one grape?

Heidi: Yeah, but then I threw it up after. I was afraid people were going to be able to see the imprint in my stomach lining.

MsP: Oh, I see. So what made you decide to get into music? I don’t know if anyone told you, but, um, well how do I put this lightly? You have NO talent.

Heidi: Really? I thought I was good. Huh. Well anyway, my fiancé told me that my boobs make me look smarter and I was a good singer. I took his word for it. I mean I need something to fall back on after The Hills.

MsP: What about getting an education? Have you thought about that?

Heidi: It’s crucial that I focus on the show, my music, my clothing line, getting plastic surgery, fighting pointless fights with people just as pointless as me, bleaching my hair, staging my relationship, before I worry about those things.

MsP: Oh well you got to do what you got to do. Although, you do look smarter maybe it’s your new boobs and nose, hmmm. Real quick, what’s one plus one?

Heidi: *thinking *

MsP: Nevermind. Well I think I’ve had about as much as I can take. Thanks for joining me on my blog today.

Heidi: Two!

MsP: And we're done...

Don’t Quit Your Day Job

Doesn’t it seem like lately everyone wants to be a model or a rapper?

My ex used to make fun of me because for a while I thought I was America’s Next Top Model. I got into some local promotional modeling a few years ago, but sh*t I’m only 5’5”. I don’t know where I thought I was going, but it sure wasn't the runway. (I think at the time I was just bored and needed to fill an insecure void. I’m over it now. Honestly.)

Anyway, when I was on my model hype, I started a page on modelmayhem.com. It’s like a professional MySpace for models, photographers, make-up artists, designers, etc. The stuff on the site varies from real high-end fashion modeling to some incredible artsy photography...

Then in between the mayhem there are, of course, the amateurs. The stuff that makes you go huh???


Work it out! Get it!You’re a tiger!

Oh yeah, you’re an animal!

I don’t know, but for some reason I didn’t want to see that…

That’s it, send that poor message out to all the little girls in America.

I know, I know. I either need Jesus or a new hobby...

MsP