Sunday, March 16, 2008

Ms Puddin’ Needs Jesus

Today at work one of my male coworkers invited me to go to church with him and his family on Easter Sunday. I’m flattered, but f*ck. The last time I went to church, gas was under $3 and I think Jesus laughed at me.

I have a love/hate relationship with church. I love how refreshing and uplifting it can be, but at the same time I hate how it can make me feel like I walked in the building wearing OJ’s glove. I guess I feel that way because I never go. Also my mom being Jewish and my dad a Christian, has left me a bit confused. While I’m sitting there listening to the pastor preach about so many positive things, all that is flashing in my mind is my debauchery from the night before. (Whoops). But wait, isn't that the point? To free yourself of your sins?

I’m pretty sure my coworker invited me as a “friend”, (I wonder if he is trying to tell me something) but I know his family goes to a really prestigious church. I prefer to go to one of those “come as you are” churches, so no one will say anything if I come hung over, in jeans.

Plus my whole wardrobe is black, wtf am I going to wear? Is a tight, black skirt to skanky? Too funeral? Should I hide my tattoos? Do I really want to get up at 8 a.m. on a Sunday? Ack! I think I’m going to have a panic attack. I told him I would think about it. What do you think? Should Ms Puddin’ go and get her praise on?

Maybe I will meet the Easter bunny ;p ...

41 comments:

Deutlich said...

I swear to goodness I will never set foot in another church so long as I live unless it's for a wedding or a funeral (ie: I'd *have* to go)

Because.. fuck no.

Jocular Schlemiel said...

You shoulda went the Hebrew route. There isn't anything better on Christmas than Chinese Food and movies.

12kyle said...

This is soooo funny. Here's my take...I think you should go. You never know what you'll get outta it. You may even have one of those moments where it feels like the pastor is speaking directly to you. LOL.

However, I wouldn't go on Easter Sunday. That is the Sunday where EVERYBODY goes to church. Even people who don't normally go to church will go on that Sunday. And everybody is dressed up. Fresh to def from head to toe. That's not the Sunday that you want to stroll in with jeans on. If you do, all eyes will be on you.

12kyle said...

lmao @ "practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian."

Mister Underhill said...

'I hate how it can make me feel like I walked in the building wearing OJ’s glove.'

LOL

I'm trying to type a less lame comment, but my mind is too cloudy to treat a topic like this seriously enough at this time in the AM. I feel kind of similar about church, though. It can be nice but also some of them seem so stuck up and kinda judgemental and a lot of them (especially right by where I live) are just amazingly preoccupied with serparating people from their cash.

Brad said...

I say go and enjoy. And have no fear about your distorted religious background. Jesus himself was a Hebrew.

In fact if I were you...I'd do the holy tour de force. I go to the Synagogue, Mosque, Buddist Temple, Jehovah worship Temple and the Hindu spot too. Then tell us which one you like best.

I'd even give Scientology a shot. What you got to lose Puddin?

Maxie said...

hey, at least it's not sunrise service. my parents made me do that once...it sucked.

anonymousnupe said...

I don't think you should let other people influence this decision. You know that I believe that Jesus is real, so when it comes down to it at the day of accounting, an excuse like, "But, God, uh, my blogging community said..." just ain't gon' cut it.

Ms.Lady said...

Its totally up to you P'.

Its all in how you feel about it.

But black on Easter??
Uh Uh..go grab you a nice color and keep it moving..lol.

dejanae said...

go head and try it out
you'll know when u get there if it was worth it for u or not

Sabina said...

Don't go. Unless there's free food and they change the schedule so you can go in the afternoon or something.

G-Sweet said...

Yea... go!... aint gonna hurt u...

(And if it does we officially know ur the devil)

D'lee Trecia said...

lol.. easter sunday is a big thing. like 12kyle said its when everyone done show up. its so up to you if you feel you can handle it. NO-BLACK... its more so mean when spring colors are in.. if that made any sense....

surviving myself said...

you were right, jesus was laughing at you. He's an asshole like that.

so don't do it.

Don said...

I think you should do what makes msP feel happy inside. I am not going to church on Easter, though. I probably won't feel like it.

MsPuddin said...

deutlich- technically you don’t have to go, weddings can be just as depressing as funerals…(how is it that you are always first to commment?) ;p

jocular- lol I gave up on Hebrew school along time ago, I think my mom was disappointed…

12k- oh that’s one of the reasons I like going, because I always feel the pastor is talking to me, but then I’m like, “oh sh*t, he knows” lol

damn, I don’t wear none of that floofy sh*t…

mister u- thanks for taking the time mr u, because I think we are on the same page. Church is a really exclusive and biased community…

brad- yeah that’s what I was thinking, it’s all the same to me. I should go and celebrate!

maxie- oh no, we would be fighting!

mslady- really? Damn. What about my tattoos?

dejanae- yeah, pretty much…

sabina- free food, hmmm probably is gonna be at least that…

g- I work for him, I’m going to go and spy on the “good” ppl…

d’lee- I don’t want to offend anyone…

surviving myself- welcome! Eek! You re scaring me!

don- I’m mad you don’t feel like it two weeks in advance. lol

The Jaded NYer said...

GIRL! This is exactly how I feel about church. The only thing that gets me to go is when my mom asks me to go with her on Mother's Day, other than that...fuggetaboutit!

Rule of thumb- when in doubt, say no. (it works 90% of the time)

(nice spot; I'll be back)

Pajnstl said...

I was raised in the church and as an adult i REFUSE o go on easter sunday, mothers/fathers day and christmas. Too many kneegrows and service always winds up being long as hell. No thank you. With that said, go another Sunday! lol

*here courtesy of Dej and her blog assignment*

KIKI said...

Do whats in your heart P. My mother gets on me about going to church more often; I tell her, if I go and my hearts not in it (ie not listening to one word of the sermon), then I'll feel like a hypocrite.

I know people say this all the time, but I truly believe it...the Lord knows your heart...and that's all that matters. What's in your heart is there whether you go sit in a building with stained glass windows or not.

But that's just me...

Babyfaced said...

Yeah you should go, it won't hurt.

eclectik said...

I dunno...I dont do church...nothing against God or Jesus...I believe in both

But the Building and organized religion is...feh

I find it hard to believe that EVERYTHING in any single religion is right/correct...and why is there so many...it's a ton of people doin bad then

If a woman invited me to church with her...she'd be in for a quick "aint"

Love the blog

eclectik-relaxation.com

Eb the Celeb said...

yes you have to go to church so go by something...

even if you dont go any other day of the year you have to go on easter...

you know that... its like the cardinal rule... its the day when their are more sinners in church than those that follow the word.

YOU MUST GO TO CHURCH! No bunnies, but I bet somebody will be selling some dinners or at least some pies after the service is over.

UBERMOUTH said...

I always thought church was to
a/ get free wine
b/ feel all ssuprerior to the heathens who don't go
c/ cheaper than a movie
d/to pre absolve yourself from the guilt of all the ppl you are going to fuck over the rest of the week!

I wouldn't go. He has some cheek even asking really- wtf kinda date is that? iF God's target market was the immoral youth church service would not be held so early after a boozy Saturday night!

Am I going to Hell for that???

Steph said...

I think you should go dressed as a hot devilwoman! The men will call you sinner then follow you home drooling!

Kiera said...

Uh, I hate that guilt trip feeling of being a sinner when I'm in church, especially those churches in which the pastor is looking directly at you the entire time like, "yeah, heifer, I'm talking about you"

But I actually like going to churches that have this non-judgmental vibe to them. My best friend's church is like that, so whenever she invites me, I always go if I can.

catscratch said...

I believe in God and right/wrong.

I don't need a bunch of judgemental folks who dress all up for each other looking down their noses at me. I had my fair share of church related guilt trips, therefore, I don't go.

The Bible says nobody is perfect...It also says we are forgiven...

MsPuddin said...

Well 1/2 of you say yes go! and 1/2 of you say noooo! don't do it!

at least we ve established I shouldn't wear black :)

So@24 said...

Church can suck it.

That's right. I said it.

Still_Pocahontaz said...

Yes Ms Puddin...your sista Poca says go!

Ya never know what God has in store for you, go whichever way you feel comfortable...but wear some drawers at least...LOL

Plus there are a whole bunch of sexy single and Christian SAVed men!!!

oestrebunny said...

Is anything ever worth getting up at 8am on a Sunday for?

Christina said...

most times i think people at church are too damn judgmental and hypocritical. I'm spiritual but I just don't do church...not even on easter, christmas, or any other religious holiday...and besides, Sunday is a day of rest LOL so yeah...

Qucifer said...

aw hell no


I would so severely pass on this invite


REALLY REALLY, I vote no

Lady Cameleon said...

hahahahaha......lol........this is freakin hilarious......you'll go and i'll talk to you on monday about it......as a matter of fact if you wanna make it a date i'll go with you......lol....no seriously ;)

NYCPonderings Chick said...

jesus know your are blogging about him right now...and he loves it, he told me he does..

somechick84 said...

Hey there, just happened upon your blog and love it. I love this post, lol. When people say things to me like "we should go to church" my response is usually, "I might start on fire."

Church is boring and isn't easter mass the loooooong one? Or was that another day?

karrie b. said...

ur not the only 1 P. i think if i went 2 church, Jesus himself would walk off the cross and shake my hand.

-KB

Mizrepresent said...

You are too funny, if they can't accept you in your too tight, revealing black shirt, then it's not the church for you...My church let's you dress as you like, and i guess be who you are, bc i would say at least 50% of the membership is gay...yep that's right, and my pastor speaks on homosexuality on the regular, but they still swaying and clapping and catching the spirit, so i say...shid, let it be, who am i to judge...get what you need, do your best to uplift and carryon.

CapCity said...

MsPuddin' - do what u feel - if u like the colleague enough join in. Don't worry 'bout the folk up in dere. Wear yo' black (maybe add a splash of a spring color - cuz i think black is the perfect color for every occasion;-). If anyone says anything 'side-eyed' - give 'em your BEST SMILE and say "U have a BLESSED day!" then wink! The Creator's our only judge!

Baby Kiki Wallace, Reporter said...

Girl. I hope you did what you really wanted to do. I actually stayed at home and spent time with my mother (she came up for Easter and I haven't seen her since Christmas). I asked her if she wanted to go but she was like "Um...no" which was fiiinnne with me.

I know the lord loves me....he better. :)

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