Tuesday, February 5, 2008

An open letter to Heidi Montag


Heidi,

I’m writing because I just watched your first music video Higher. Why? I have NO idea.

It makes a significant amount of sense that your douche fiancé Spencer Pratt directed that hot mess. See the problem is I was watching it and I couldn’t grasp the message you were trying portray through your music. Anorexia? Stupidity? Plastic surgery? What happens when you focus on becoming famous with no talent instead of getting an education?

Then it hit me!

As I watched you spin around, your unnatural titties cascading from the sides of your bikini, your wispy voice giving me a headache, there is no point to your music video, your song Higher or you for that matter. So sad. :(

So basically this is a request for you to please stop making music, forever. I think it is time you found something more productive to do with your life. Maybe you should invest in some new hobbies like, finding your local library and picking up a book, going shopping for a shirt that covers up both of your titties or jumping off a bridge. Just a few suggestions…

Anyhoo…thanks for your time. I’m sure your attention span is short and you only caught the first two lines of this letter, but that’s okay, I’ll try and translate it for you…

Smooches,

Ms Puddin’

*Today is the big day, may the best wo/man win…;p

46 comments:

oestrebunny said...

ps. Please have a burger.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

I stared at that picture for 3 minutes.

Don't hate me.

non-Blondie said...

GOLD!

Slausin-Ass Slaus said...

That heffa needs some carbs.

Is that really cute? Is that what's hot in the streets these days? Like really?

wow. If that is what is suppose to be HOT, no wonder peopel said Katherine Mcphee was fat... yeah.

More eating of burgers, and less singing Heidi

Diva said...

Can you sign my name alongside yours?

Ms.Lady said...

Uhhh...I dont have much to say to her whack ass..I think you summed it up.

MsPuddin said...

bunny- with fries…

bug’s butt- I hate you…

non-blondie- welcome! Thanks!

Slaus- yes in the streets that is unfortunately the business, everyone is fat if they aren’t flashin’ a rib or two…

diva- LOL cosigning…fasho…

ms. lady- : )

Don said...

Funny post. I never heard of this woman or her video. You make me want to watch it now. lol.

Obama 'o8

NYCPonderings Chick said...

I actually feel sorry for her...she has no real friends and her life is only a reality show, which will soon die and she will be left with no real job or future and probably have to go home and milk cows or something..

NYCPonderings Chick said...

I actually feel sorry for her...she has no real friends and her life is only a reality show, which will soon die and she will be left with no real job or future and probably have to go home and milk cows or something..

So@24 said...

Obama for change!

Ms. Behaving said...

Heidi should stick to reality TV....

Deutlich said...

you? crack me the hell up.

fuckin' eh I'm laughing. hard.

Christina said...

my first comment....i dont even know what to say except LMAO you are too funny! but you probably already knew that lol

Karrie B. said...

heidi...STOP IT! no more, please...for me? i'm begging you. i'll tell u 1 thing tho, look @ heidi now, compared to a couple seasons ago. she looked like she rolled out the garbage. now she's all upgraded with highlights and boobs. maybe that's all it takes!!! good weave and boobies! yes! thank u heidi! (and puddin for postin' this!)

-karrie b.

Slausin-Ass Slaus said...

... id still hit it tho

I just wouldnt tell nobody.

MsPuddin said...

lol where's nupe, to say, "I'd fanger it"...?

Slausin-Ass Slaus said...

Lol because I was thinking.. all she needs now is for nupe to say : "Id fanger it"

marky said...

theres that un-puddin face again.

eclectik said...

I'm Pro un natrual fun bags...besides it's all about the Nips and olas anyway.

Dig the letter

Fake ass Reality show..

Feel the Nana puddin on your skin!

e.

The Ex said...

Fuck yes.

Suite B said...

I hope you understand that due to this blog I will never be able to take anything you say seriously...and since I don't know you I don't think that will cause a problem.

YOU HAVE SOME REAL ISSUES...AND THEY MAKE ME LAUGH DAILY!

Karrie B. said...

baha @ slaus hittin' it and keepin' it "on the hush"

-karrie b.

Bangs and a Bun said...

I found her banana hands and complete and utter lack of dance ability and rhythm very disturbing in that video. Shit, that bitch can't even roll around in the sand right.

Bangs and a Bun said...
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Bangs and a Bun said...
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Smitty said...

This bish....I tired of these talent less reality stars becoming famous for being on TV. If all you need is a TV show to be famous and you can bring nothing to the table as far as talent...you suck. Most of em get work because they were on a reality show. It's rarley vice versa. Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian, Nicole Richie, and any other reality star with no talent should slowly kill themselves.....wait there already doing that with coke huh?

Caesar Cannon said...

who is heidi montag? her? she's like a mop stick with coconuts taped to it... not a good look

anonymousnupe said...

Ion-know, man. I hate it when I feel gristle on bone when I'm fangerin'. I'm not into necrophilia. I got standards. (Sorry I'm late to the game. Track meet today.)

Qucifer said...

I too felt a dep shame when I was watching that shit for brains chick... At least I have enough decency left to have stopped that shit before it ended!

The Guv'ner said...

Miss P. I vote YOU for president.

Someone needs to duct tape that girl to a chair and feed her. Then once she's fed and her ribs don't show, shoot her in the head. That is all.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

oh my god. A fucking MEN.

That video was embarrassing.

maverick said...

woof...nice face expression..i mean i cud show it to a lot of singers out there :)..i mean the finger ..lol

MsPuddin said...

Man I'm shocked, but glad that a lot of you don't know who she is....

Laughing through my chardonnay said...

P.S. Stop being such a whore.

HAHAHA! Your letter killed me.

Preposterous Ponderings said...

Can I sign my name on that letter too?

Your picture at the end is priceless! ha ha ha ha

Koffee Dyme said...

lol... Spencer screwed her over lol...
If only she stayed friends with LC anyways

Afrodite said...

That picture of you is probably the funniest thing I've seen all day. I love your faces!

A Martini Always Helps said...

Just stumbled on to your blog from so@24's and darling, you are highhhhlarious. I am going to go waste a good hour of office time and catch up on your posts right now.

MsPuddin said...

Welcome to all my new stalkers!

UPDATE!! On perezhilton.com (its also linked on my pg) there is a video of perez interviewing Heidi after he got 2,000 comments on his blog from people who said her video was crap LOL !!

Sometimes you just gotta take a break from life and catch up on the gossip...ahhhhhh

Bella said...

Oh, is that a new signature pose???

:) Bella

Marleaux said...

Looks like her arms and hands were singing better than she was. She was justa throwing them about, as if it made up for the non-singing.

And is she still with that chicklet teeth boy. I swear he looks just like Jim Carey in the mask, without green skin...

Mister Underhill said...

LOL

Oh come on. Don't take tv titties away from me...they're all I have left!

The Clumsy Chatterbox said...

hahahahahaha.

I've been MIA and stressed and this MADE my day. Freakin' great.

I have got to learn the art of flipping people off like that. It was beautifully done. Almost poetic.

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