Thursday, February 7, 2008

If Ms Puddin' had a reality TV show…

                    (Ms Puddin' & Tyree from MTVs Real World)

Since the stories I tell on my blog are true, a few of my readers mentioned I have the potential to have a successful reality TV show. In translation, when I talk about having sex with midgets, dancing on bars naked and locking my keys in the car with it still running, you nosey people basically want to be witnesses to all that insanity.

I love the love, it makes my nipples hard.

So I promise I won’t try and turn my D-list fame into a music career. Untalented singers are as played as sex tapes and Jessica Simpson. I’m just hoping that my show might be a way to boost my career in debauchery and an excuse to buy new panties. Yay!

So anyway, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about how I’m going to go about pitching my reality TV show to VH1. I want to make sure I have enough material without having to go down on the producer. I mean if I have to, I will, but that’s plan B. In the meantime, I’ve been working on some ideas that might be good for the show…

First of all, it will be called I Tasted Fresh Banana Puddin’ and will take place in Sin City, Vegas. (I’m hoping to get the Playboy suite at the Palms). Or maybe we should film it in Mexico? That way, in case we do anything illegal we can hop the border. (Which would make for a great episode, btw).

I’m going to invite Ice T’s woman Coco, Jenna Jameson, and Kanye West to make guest appearances. However, I’m going to put in Coco’s contract she can’t participate unless she wears pants that show off her va jay jay and does this...

…which shouldn’t be a problem. Jenna can just do what she does best and in Kanye’s contract I’m requiring he throws at least two of his hissy fits.

Of course, there will be alcohol, but hey, lets do some experimenting too. I want people to feel good, really good.

The plot? Well, there isn’t one. It’s reality TV! I think the biggest obstacle on the show will be trying to find my panties.

The only other problem I ran across after all this brainstorming is, I fart. A lot. This could be a problem. I don’t think anyone on reality TV has farted before? Maybe on Jackass? If a camera is following me around 24/7 I’m bound to break wind at some point. Maybe we can just edit that part (those parts) out later???

Soooo, what do you think??? * blink, blink *

35 comments:

maverick said...

i am game...can i be a part of the crew??

Caesar Cannon said...

would be interesting. Get at me to be supervising producer on the production crew... and, if you actually do that shit and get picked up, I'm expecting an E-mail.

Star (Mr P)

sequined said...

Can you also do an episode about auditioning for burlesque and/or strip shows? Maybe after an episode where you start taking strip aerobics classes? That would be an awesome series of episodes.

Another important aspect of the show should be your attempts to hit on bouncers and get into exclusive clubs for free. Including shameless sexual advances, if need be.

I would TiVo that show like it was a religion.

Karrie B. said...

you are fuckin' crazy. i love you! "atleast two hissy fits..." ain't that the truth tho? when u get the "ok" i'll fly out and make a guest appearance myself. this sounds too good to not be a part of.

-karrie b.

Slausin-Ass Slaus said...

Uhm.. first of all.. I hate you because I was just writing a damn blog about what a slaus reality show would be like.

2nd of all.. you do knoooooow that there will be some type of girl on girl action on this show, and where there is GOGA, there is Slaus.

3rd .. you lil nasty-ass nasty. America is NOT ready for a bloody show featuring a fine farty-ass fartin female. Unsavoury.

I demand to be allowed on the show once. I'd get kicked off within the first 5 minutes though for rubbin my jibby on the camera lense

Deutlich said...

DO IT!

Shambhu said...

I like your blog. Does your tongue fit inside your mouth?

MsPuddin said...

maverick- hell yeah! Lets do this….

cc- you too? Aight hop on board, maybe I should go door to door surprising who is going to be working on the show…

sequined- I’m writing all this down. Hmmm maybe you can be in charge of writing material when I’m too high to do sh*t and then you can also be in charge of our fan club. I know it’s a lot of responsibility, but there will be benefits…

karrie- the more the better, maybe you can help tip Kanye off lol

slaus- sh*t, don’t let me stop you, write your script man…hmmm maybe we can collaborate.

GOGA? I’m way ahead of you, jenna duh!

I’m sorry but it I think it is time society accepted my BGS…

LOL why you gotta go and get the camera all smudgy and sh*t, not it can’t capture my essence in all its debauchery…

deutlich- thanks for the support! Yay!

shambhu- hi! Thanks! It does, but it looks better out…

Ms. Behaving said...

LMAO! Gurl I'm sure it'll be a hit!!!

Hex said...

Now that's what I call must-see pudding!

ps - Don't know if you saw it or not, but about a week back on Celebrity Rehab (which is pure trashy goodness) coulda been California governor Mary Carey cut loose with a beef that shook the ground.

This was the same episode where I found out that she went to the same college I went to.

Color me proud.

rs27 said...

I'm only watching this if Tyree is somehow involved and yelling, "LISTEN!" at people...

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

Guess im too boring t make the cut on your show. LOL

Diva said...

Super sweet idea! Do it!

Ms.Lady said...

I'll tune in EVRY week faithfully P'

But ummm Jenna Jameson??
Isnt she turning her life around??
Lol...Oh nevermind.

Who else sholud make guest appearances??

Hmm..

Oooo!!

You GOTTA have Tanisha from Bad Girls Club!!

She's from Brooklyn SON!!!

The Guv'ner said...

That spoiled chick who loves herself - the one that snagged the old dude who used to be on The Brady Bunch - she rips giant farts all the damn time. I only saw that show maybe twice for about two minutes and both times she was blasting the air biscuits and looking proud of it too. You could sit that chick on a cliff to ward off ships when the lighthouse breaks.

I know a Ms. Puddin' fluff - ladies don't fart they fluff - would smell of roses and sound like a concerto though, so you should be fine.

eclectik said...

I say just keep Baby Powder in your panties so when you fart it puffs the smoke out

Nana Powder!

e.
(Creative consultant)

G-Sweet said...

MS.LADY... Jenna's turnin somethin around but it aint her life... lol

Puddin... do it... so i can piggy back off of ur fame and try to get a show of my own...

ur a genius... lmao!

Sojourner G said...

Leave the wind breaking in.
It will add...texture.

MsPuddin said...

ms.b- or something!

hex- yeah I was going to make my show a reality about celebs going to rehab, but then I realized it was already being watched lol

r- LOL I know, when I met him I was like “man you fight too much” lol

torrance- naw man, you can come with something intellectual and sharp wit it and the rest of the cast will be hella high like, “huh?”

diva- ;p

ms.lady- you can also be a part of my fan club, oh this is going to be awesome! LOL @ Brooklyn son…but um whos Tanisha? I don’t have cable…

guv- I forgot about her nasty ass…hmmm I remember her burping, but never a fart…I said I fart a lot I didn’t say they smell. My farts smell like Sunday mornings…

e- if I can even find my panties…

G- muhahahaha! I know! Damn free loader, get out of my comments!

sojourner- texture ha! I like the sound of that. Question for you…do you just write the poetry blog or how does that work. I always go to comment on your blog but it looks like it is connected with a bunch of other people, forgive me, I’m confused…

Still_Pocahontaz said...

I say farting is good and its healthy…Oh yeah, about the show…GIRL YES….let me and Saphyrii from Charm School design your wardrobe…you are on your way….I will do it for a small cost though…no special favors required…LOL

Lady Cameleon said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lady Cameleon said...

All i know is if you do this show....just give me a two minute feature of some of my best dances moves k........the world needs to see and your definately my door in to my dance fame...Step it up part 3......

Sojourner G said...

truthjourney.blogspot.com is my personal blog and yes, it consists almost exclusively of poetry and prose. I am a member of a community of bloggers called Bloggers Delight as well (whole different sight to which I contribute with about 25 other bloggers, some you know, like Don). When you go to my profile, you see both blogs listed, but mine is the top one.

Nevertheless, thanks for thinking of a brother.

Krissyface said...

I think if they can work your farting into the plot lines somehow, that would be best. Like, "Ms. Puddin farts as she auditions for a really important dance role", "Ms. Puddin farts at work", "Ms. Puddin locks her keys in her car while its still running, and she also farts".
The farting would just add a little...something extra.

By the way, in my reality show I'm always picking my nose.

maverick said...

so wen do v start??n im good with the camera!! :D...blog updated btw :)

Smitty said...

Just tell VH1 that you have a reality show that really degrades black women, makes black men coon and tries to remove all integrity from the black community. You'll have 3 seasons in no time.

Slausin-Ass Slaus said...

@ smitty - see.. that's.. i mean.. just. we can be friends. you just summed my whole thought process on vh1.

James Tubman said...

bot i know ice t is having a ball lol

she looks like she can really work it

no thanks though

yeah i think you should have your own blog reality show where you and some other bloggers come together and do some things and let the world know everything they're doing

actually i just thought of that lol

but it might be something to think about

whatigotsofar said...

I'm pretty sure I've seen farting on reality TV. On Kenny vs Spenny, there was a farting contest and one of the guys used a bicycle pump or something to inject air up his butt to somehow magnify his flatulence.

Preposterous Ponderings said...

That one big bitch on Flava's show shit all over his floor so I don't think any of the TV viewers would have a problem if you farted.

Karrie B. said...

james tubman is onto something...maybe you can get a camcorder and start a miniseries of video diaries or somethin...omg if this whole blog fam got together for like a party or somethin, it would be the illest party ever...all these personalities...loves it!

-karrie b.

MsPuddin said...

still_p- wardrobe got it! writing you down now…aww but I like doing favors lol ;p

lady c- hey we can get fcked up and have a dance off, that’s wassup

soj- ok I got…lol

krissyface- oh yeah like Laguna Beach had titles? Mine can be on flatulence…ok!

maverick- I gotta pitch my idea first ;p

smitty- damn , you sure know how to make somebody feel bad. Actually I don’t watch TV so I feel good about not supporting that junk, but my show will have other races doing stupid sh*t too, so it will make up for lost time…

slaus- don’t come up in here snatchin up my peoples lol

james- that’s great…on some real sh*t bloggers are really intellectual, witty people, we should let the world know…

what- HI!ok that is a little extreme…I just got to let it out…

pp- she sure did sh*t on his floor, damn never mind, farting is allowed!

karrie- me loves it too! ;p

James Tubman said...

i can't believe i'm gonna look up the word flatulence because somebody used it in the context of talking about a fart contest

MsPuddin said...

ah, those are the days, when you re googling "flatulence"...

Opinionated Diva said...

LOL - you are just priceless!

Hey if Tila Tequila can get a show, then why not you huh?!