Friday, March 6, 2009

Will Work for Cheese (Among other things)

Well for those of you who don’t know, I’ve been back on the grind in search of another job. And like a good majority of Americans right now, I am BROKE. I’m not even Bobby Brown/MC Hammer broke, I’m Tara Reid/random homeless person broke.

Life is becoming a little less luxurious everyday.

I had to cancel my gym membership, but at the same time I can’t afford to buy food. So lately I just jog around the block and fuck my boyfriend for exercise. Then I eat canned tuna and drink lots of tap water to stay healthy.

I can’t afford to go out and get shit-faced either, so technically I’m in rehab. Therefore, I am still doing ok on the physical level. Mentally, I’m unstable. Instead of cable, I’ve been reading books. With the economy the way that it is, some of us have no choice but to learn how to adjust.

I heard a comedian mention the other night, "When was the last time we've heard Obama say 'Yes We Can!'"? It's like he got into office and started looking over some paperwork, (the big fat binder labeled, "Shit Gone Wrong" next to the Manila folder entitled, "We Fucked Up"), now he's like, "Shit, um maybe we might be able to do some shit, kind of...if we're lucky, we'll see. I'll get back to you."

Most people grew up with some sort of plan in mind. Usually it’s something substantial like go to college, get a job, get married, have some kids, retire and die. I never really had that plan or any other plan for that matter. My mom did. Her plan for me was to make sure that I went to college, which I did. Now I’m fucked, because I didn’t really have a plan for what to do after college.

I mean it was inevitable that I would eventually have to get a “real” job. One that I didn’t have to wear a hot pink mini, cup balls in my hand or contributed to my drinking problem. However, job-hunting (again and for the record I wasn't fired) during this whole economic crisis thingy has me straight struggling.

I have a job interview on Monday. Let.Us.Pray.

19 comments:

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

I'm joining you in the unemployed stakes in April. You can have my shitty admin job if you want. (It's in London. You may need to relocate).

MsPuddin said...

LOL thanks for the offer, but unless they fly me out there, find me a place to live and pay my first two/three months rent, I'm going to have to pass...

yeahisaiditworld said...

I'm in the same boat you're in. I got laid off a month ago. I should be okay through the Summer, but if nothing comes through by then, I'll just have to sell some azz!

Kayta said...

Good luck with the job interview. No drinking?!? I... can't... even... fathom....

Crowscious said...

I'm so sorry about ur bein broke. Will have three extra shots for you tonight.. maybe five even :P Of course will pray for ur job. Let us know when u get it :)

Hadassah said...

Good Luck onyour Job interview I am having one on Monday as well.

ShantaeMarlinda said...

Wow. I feel like I'm eventually gonna be screwed considering I don't ever plan ahead either. Dah well.. I'll cross that bridge when I get to it I guess.

Good luck with the interview! Knock those bitches dead!

UBERMOUTH said...

Times are getting scary when you want us to pray for you ,Ms. Pudding.

Loved the 'technically in rehab'line.

That Saddity Chic said...

Good luck hun!

Matt C. said...

Just stumbled across your blog. Great read (as good as a read about being unemployed and SOL can be, right?). All joking aside, don't feel too bad about not having a clue about what you want to be doing.

I graduated last May - and yes, I got a job in the field I majored in (Advertising) - but I still have no idea what I want to really do with my life. I'm not sure when that realization is supposed to happen (if ever).

And as for Obama - you hit the nail right on the head. I don't think it settled in how much shit Bush left him to clean up until he actually sat down in the Oval Office. His tone has totally changed. Pray he'll turn things around. And a prayer for your interview to go well!

c.watson said...

Yay for the unemployed. Or how about working for below minimum wage?

Good luck with the interview, I hope it involves cupping balls.

Stew said...

good luck

Cunning_Linguist said...

Told you long ago there's a perfectly good job waiting for you here. Call me crazy, but I think you'd adjust nicely to the mini-skirt mondays and thong tuesdays, etc. Filing? Pffft. I'll hire somebody else to do that. Just mix a badass drink and look edible. Let Uncle Cunning take care of the rest.

Lindsay McHugh said...

Seriously, what the hell is a real job anyway. I went to college, etc. and once I graduated I decided to blow my money in Europe (best decision ever) and now I'm in Aussie doing... something. I definitely don't have a plan. At all.

I am in the same boat with the canned tuna. Awesome.

Sabina said...

Good luck with the job interview! And at least with all the tuna, water, sex, and no alcohol, you're extra healthy now, right?

JSADTheKing said...

Your blog is great as far as jobs go GOOD Luck but I think your field of choice should be writer of some sort maybe for sitcoms because your writing is funny as hell.

Rich Fitzgerald said...

u'll land on your feet, you always do.

Folk said...

that picture scares me.

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