Borachas

Ok I’m back, but before I get into my trip let me just say I am shocked that some of you don’t know what a donkey show is. Although, lets just keep it that way, shall we? Also I didn't bring the digital, because I didn't want to get drunk and drop it in the pool or period. So this trip is brought to you by Kodak...

Mexico was fucking fantastic.

I’ve never been outside of the U.S. before. By my third night in Cabo I was literally living off of anti-diarrhea medicine, nacho cheese and espressos. I was afraid to shit because I wasn’t sure what was going to come out of my ass, but it was so worth it.

In fact, when my girl told her grandma we were going to Mexico, her grandma told her to go to the pharmacy and specifically tell them, “I’m going to Mexico”. We came loaded with sunscreen, Excedrin, Chasers, Tylenol, Advil, tampons, anti-diarrhea medication, Beano and of course Pedialyte.

We were not playing around.

Our flight left out of San Francisco early Saturday morning.

My girl started drinking on the flight, while I passed out. When we landed she turned to me and said, “I think I’m already hung over.” I started laughing. It was going to be an interesting vacation.

After we went through customs, immigration and all of that, our resort was a 45-minute drive from the airport. When we pulled up to the Rio Santa Fe, they handed us two Coronas and two shots of tequila. No, I’m serious, they really did...

Our trip was all-inclusive so once we checked in, they gave us wristbands, which made it possible for us to eat and drink anywhere at the resort at any time. There was a mini bar in our room that they restocked every 24-hours if necessary. There was a 24-hour sports bar, a disco, swim up bars, side bars, hard bars, back bars, tequila bars, ok you get the point.

After we got settled and dressed to go out, we headed for the sports bar. I asked Pedro (the guy behind the bar) if he had any blueberry vodka.

“Jajajaja,” he said. And then he made us these…

Some blue drank! (Laughing, because it was all bad after that, for real). It was a "adios motherfucker" without ice (sin yellow).

I don't know if we were extra friendly or just drunk, because we met a lot of people while we were there.

Here’s “wedding-dress-guy”…

He was getting married so his friends bought him a prom-like wedding dress and made him wear it. Meanwhile, his fiancé was in Vegas.

Here are our Canadian boys…

We played a mean game of volleyball and I sprained my thumb. =(

These two were on their honeymoon...

She had the nicest fake titties I’ve ever seen. My girl passed out drunk in between her boobs and she’s all, “honey, while you're down there can you suck one of my nipples?”

If it's not obvious enough, we did A LOT of drinking, which all started with that blue drank.

Round 1…mai tais...

Round 2... miami vices...

Round 637... some crazy ass shots...

Now shimmy!!!

I think I woke up everyday twitching like a fish. However, they make an awesome Bloody Mary, extra spicy. We hardly spent any time in our room, but we had a nice view.

Good times, but I'm glad I made it back.