Monday, July 28, 2008

Backwards Love

I had an epiphany. I know, I know, me in deep thought may come as a shock, but humor me here. I could be onto something...

I was driving in my car the other day when that Mary J. Blidge song came on the radio, “Not Gon’ Cry.” Remember that song from Waiting to Exhale, outlining Angela Bassett’s character? The woman who was married to her man for 11 years, helped him build his company success, had two of his children, then he had an affair (with a white woman) and left her?

Well I was thinking, they’re relationship probably started out all honeymoon-like. They met, fell in love and things were great, long walks, long conversations, lots of sex and quality time. That was, until he started thinking with his dick, totally fucked her and tried to take everything she had worked so hard for.

I’m thinking that since people tend to get married to get divorced, this scenario is all too familiar for most.

Then there are other people, (like me), who meet their significant other and they start showin’ they ass within like the first few weeks. Not to be too specific, but a rude, lazy, selfish, player, with no intentions to commit, no direction and so not worth the time and effort, who one day realizes that he is a jerkface and the two of you were meant to be.

Basically what I’m saying is that maybe we should start dating backwards, ya know? Like get all of our flaws out of the way in the beginning of the relationship, so in the end we can live happily ever without divorce or compromising surprises.

Ok this could be a really lame justification for my personal dating situation or a brilliant revelation...

19 comments:

Cool Kidd Cann said...

you might be on to something... I realize that some of the best times I've had in "relationships" came after acted like a total asshole... and some of the worst situations were the times I started out like Mr Nice Guy... the thing is finding someone that will stick around after that... but i'm SO gonna try this... thanks P

Narm said...

I'd love to see the personal ads "S/W/M who enjoys binge drinking, ignoring phone calls and flirting with your friends"

Cunning_Linguist said...

Hi, I'm Cunning Linguist ( reaches out hand to shake yours). I have commitment phobia's and no matter how many times you tell me, I probably won't put out the trash without a major fight. And you are?......

(vixenchick) said...

That's not lame baby girl it really is a brilliant revolation ,baby girl.

Charles said...

Thats an ill approach. I mean...in some situations that could be very helpful because someone's foibles could be compatible with someone else's strengths and likes. Like if someone likes to cook and someone likes to eat...or if someone likes to clean and someone who is messy. You'll always have stuff to do. But then again...I can never see myself playing the asshole role...so I don't think I have to worry on my part...

Lady Cameleon said...

I never thought i would say this BUT i think you might just "be on to something",lol...But no seriously......let me look at it again>>>>>>

"Like get all of our flaws out of the way in the beginning of the relationship, so in the end we can live happily ever without divorce or compromising surprises."

Mmmmmhh.......or maybe im just saying that because of my most current non-situation, situation,lol.....

Anywho back to me complimenting your writing>>>>>>>>>>>> YOU ARE SUCH A GOOD WRITER GIRL.....I know im a lame-o for doing this on all your blogs but...............your good.... :)

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

i think broom jumping is for life
thats what i belive and desire for life
like a social club (the police called my social club a gang)

G-Sweet said...

there are positives and negatives to this but shit anythings open now days so why not at least u could weed out the ones whos flaws are too much... i see u over doin some serious thinkin Puddin, dont hurt urself now!...lol!

Eb the Celeb said...

yeah that might just work... lol...

on second thought... if you did all the dumb crazy shit first... the person wouldnt even be attracted to you anymore... the reason for the divorce.. so it wouldnt even get to the point of a serious relationship because you would have cut them off already

but I love when you have these epiphanies...lol

YoungBlackBeauty said...

I see what you mean but the I think the reason people don't do that immediately is because no one really wants to date a a person with a bunch of fucked up personality flaws and but then again once we find out the truth we'd all end up lonely anyway LOL! Just a thought.

Hadassah said...

I agree with that it makes alot of sense

Stew said...

that's what i do. i let people know up front that i am a hand full. so that once shit starts getting weird, then i can always say

"i told you that you did not want to deal with me"

c.watson said...

Wait but I thought you had to get them to like you first? If I act all crazy to begin with they just run away, and if I'm in heels I can't catch them.

Bella said...

This could work.

I think.

=)

eclectik said...

Guess who I heart
(and would so date)
?????????????????

u.



e.

saratogajean said...

It would be great if everyone carried a laminated "pros/cons" card in their wallet. Then you could decide for yourself if the pros ("I make a mean mint chocolate chip milk shake") outweigh the cons ("I have a mean cheating streak").

Some will inevitably fail to read the scale correctly, but at least they'll have a delicious milk shake to help ease the pain.

Krissyface said...

dating backwards. I think I already do that though. I can't help but blurt out all my inadequacies and shortcomings on the first date. It helps to, you know, cushion the disappointment later.

TWENTY. SOMETHING. said...

the sanctity of marriage no longer exists - plan and simple.

you fuck, get married, realize it's a mistake, then get divorced.

and such is life (unfortunately). if you're lucky, you'll realize this before step 2 and just enjoy the sex.

Anonymous said...

Works for me (smiles)