Friday, May 16, 2008

I’m Like Totally Not in High School Anymore

It has been sooooo freakin’ hot over here the last two days. And the f*cked up part is that it’s hotter inside my house than it is outside.

Also for the last week and a half I have been getting phone calls from an anonymous number in my area. They call and breathe a little bit into my ear, before I hang up.

I got excited at first. Yay, I have a stalker, maybe they will bring me some Starbucks or something. Then I got irritated as they continued to play on my phone. So I texted the number asking who it was. They texted back, “don’t worry about who I am, but I know who you are.”

I’m like, “that’s great that you know who I am. If you want to converse then speak up when you call me, otherwise stop calling my phone!”

Crazy anonymous stalker texted me back, “I wasn’t the one calling you, my boyfriend Mike Perkins is the one who has been calling you.”

At first I panicked. Oh sh*t, did I get drunk and leave my panties at some guy’s house? I racked my brain, Mike? Who the f*ck is Mike Perkins? Then I started laughing. He was the hot bartender at my old job. The one who I’ve flirted with, gave my number to, but never hung out with. Besides, he told me he didn’t have a girlfriend. Men. I think they are programmed to say, “I don’t have a girlfriend.” Right.

So anyway, I called him and I’m like, “Mike, is your last name Perkins?”

“Yeah”, he said, like he already knew what was up.

“Um can you tell your crazy girlfriend to stop calling my phone?” I asked.

“I know. I’m sorry, but it’s out of my hands. We haven’t been together in awhile. She’s trippin’,” he replied.

What do you mean it's out of your hands? You better handle that, homie.

Great. Just great. It’s cool. I think I could take her…

24 comments:

yes said...

yea thats real retarded of her and u never even hung out with the guy

Canon Obama said...

word, that's retarded as shit... the girlfriend is a nut and Mike is a lame... shame...

Deutlich said...

bitches are crazy.

i.can't.complain. said...

oh gee.

not the crazy ex that won't go away.

and the pussy ass dude who won't man up and handle said ex.

i know u could take her, girl.

until then... u may wanna consider call blocking.

-1-

anonymousnupe said...

At first I read: "I have been getting phone calls from an anonymous nupe..." And I was like, "Dang! How she know it was me?! Daaannnggg!"

MsPuddin said...

yes- nope never...

canon- yes boys suck and girls are crazy...

d- lol b*tches be crazy, for real

-1- yes its the crazy ex that wont go away. you know ive been in her shoes, but you deal w your said man, not the girls right?

nupe- lol so that was you outside my window? next time bring me a white mocha frap, thanks

Skinny Girl said...

Just give her a Glasgow kiss.
Then there will be no more random phone calls.
Byatch.

S X

LadyShay said...

That bitch don't want none!!!!

LOL

Prunella Jones said...

Call blocking will take care of it. But first you might suggest this girl to get some Prozac.

Stew said...

ha!! you gotta love crazy women. that is what keeps me going. i gotta hear a story about a crazy woman at least once a week. it's my crack.

12kyle said...

does mike have a spine???

c'mon, playa. handle yo bizness!

raych said...

have you ever seen that Dave Chappelle skit - "When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong"?

"I don't like it when people play on my phone!"

Jadore.Tokeyo said...

wow!!! at first you were excited?? LOL

but he DOES need to get his chick, ex or not, in line!

anonymousnupe said...

White Mocha Frap? Is that what the kids are callin' it now?

Krissyface said...

Bet he'd be willing to take matters into his hands if his 'ex' got a black eye. I'm just sayin'.

FlyyGurl said...

See, that's when u got to travel through the phone lines and whoop some ass.....bitches crazy...lmao

c.watson said...

You should start randomly calling her. tell her that she has a sexy voice and you can't stop thinking about her. Start moaning into the phone and tell her, that her voice alone gets you off and to pease call more often as it's been a slow month.

James Tubman said...

if she keeps calling you give her number to like 5 different friends who call her house everyday and threaten to kill her

sounds funny but it just might work lol

Bella said...

Omg, that's too much!

At first, I was like, "Crank text messages???"

Good luck with THAT situation.

Muze said...

man that was happening to me a while ago.

but it was some young girl. and i had no clue who her man was at all. that was the sad part. she had the wrong number. dumbass.

i finally had to text her the f*ck out. she stopped after that. lol.

She W0rd Hustlez said...

Wow, it's out of his hands?! Females are crazy and ol' dude is a punk for not handling accordlingly.

karrie b. said...

ughhh wtf?

do i have to come to cali and tag team this heffer?

-KB

Afrodite said...

All I gotta say is: Beat that bitch with a bat. I've got a bat. Do u need a bat, Puddin'?

Suite B said...

What...who does that. I would have had to slap him and his crazy ass girlfriend for being too damn silly