Sunday, May 11, 2008

Hi Mom!

[photo]- a mini puddin' and a mama puddin'

The sex in Addicted was boring because it was unimaginative. I would expect more from an erotic writer than that. -said Ms Puddin's mom.

I love my mom.

I’ve blogged about her before. Usually it’s to make fun of her, but I make fun of her because I love her. Plus she is known for doing some pretty weird and um interesting things, just like me. Yay! Like mother, like daughter, I guess. Well kind of, but not really, because mom and me are nothing alike.

Anyway, in honor of Mother’s Day, I decided to do an exert/mash-up of my favorite posts about my mom. So mom if you’re reading, it’s all out of love…*muAh!*

Every year my mom, who is also a writer, takes a little bit out of each of our lives and shares it with friends and family. (thanks mom) This year I was a little offended reading the holiday letter, because my mom wrote that I have a bizarre sense of humor. My sense of humor might be a little different, but no one in my family has any room to talk when it comes to how talented and disturbingly entertaining we are.

Just last week my dad called to tell me that my mom had got her foot caught in the strap of her purse while trying to get out of her car. She fell onto the sidewalk and clocked her face on the driver’s door trying to get back up, giving herself a black eye. My dad is already on crutches, because he recently fractured his ankle. So he was sitting on the passenger's side looking over at her like, “what is going on?”

Mom, my sense of humor might be strange, but you sure are talented.

Growing up I think she had everything anyone could think of in her purse. Brush? Check. Spoon? Check. Toothbrush? Check. A midget? Check.

We all (I grew up with my two younger brothers) loved cracking jokes at my mother’s expense. I don’t know why, maybe because she is such an easy target. I remember when she lost a majority of her hearing while we were growing up. I think she basically had what I would call “selective hearing,” because sometimes I think she just tuned us out. But most of the time she couldn’t hear because of her disability.

My brothers and I would drive her crazy by mouthing words without sound and she would become frantic trying to figure out what we were saying. Then other times we would just yell things at her like, “Mom I’m going to the store!” Which she would either interpret as, “Mom, I’m a dirty whore!” or she would tell us to stop yelling at her.

My mom also wrote in the holiday letter that she went on a rant about how bad soda is. “Soda is not food, it’s one of the worst things you can put in your body,” my mom said. My brother replied, “No Mom, crack is one of the worst things you can put in your body.”

Touché.

Happy Mothers Day!

MsP

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

Whoever she is, wherever she is, I love you Mom.

LadyShay said...

AWWW Happy Momma's Day Mama Puddin!!!! And that episode of her falling out of the car with an injured passenger staring at her like WTF?! is fucking hilarious!!!!!

Deutlich said...

the whole time I was reading this all I could do was go AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWW

She W0rd Hustlez said...

Happy Mother's day. Yes, you guys do have a bizarre sense of humor, but it seems like your childhood was filled with great moments, even if they were at your mother's expense, loll. Happy Mother's Day to you and your's.

Amy Wachspress said...

Thanks for the post and the sugar on Mother's Day. You know you're my gal. Love you dearly,
Mama
PS--Your Dad thinks it's funny to tell stories about the klutzy stuff I do, but he seems to forget the stuff he does, like the time he set his napkin on fire off one of the candles on the table at a wedding reception buffet. He had several people doing a hat dance on the napkin. Or read my blog about Cabo Towels, and the time he stepped on the lady's tube of suntan lotion and squirted it all over her, her blanket, her beach chair, her purse, etc., etc.

Ninjagirrl said...

MsP that was so sweet!!


and thank you for the congrats!! Kudos to you for continuing with yours! Yessssgirrl, I know all about those evil papers!! *I HATE THEM*

karrie b. said...

ur mom is fucking awesome. i love the relationship u have with her...

-KB

Eb the Celeb said...

awwee...

didnt know you were a mixed baby...

Suite B said...

Your mom is sooooooooooooo funny. I feel like I know her and if I was around her I would just stare and laugh at all the funny stuff that happens when she's around. I guess we all know where MsPuddin gets it from

Bella said...

I love your Mamma stories!

Cute pic too!

=) Bella

UBERMOUTH said...

She sounds delightful . I am sorry that I laffed at her fall.

maverick said...

hey..hope u had a great mothers day :)

MsPuddin said...

anon- she’s sipping cocktails at the beach…or at least thats how i imagine it...

ladyshay- my parents, gotta love them…

d- you re a dork…lol …love it…

she word- yes I look back and laugh at a majority of my childhood, its all I can do…welcome, btw…

mom- I know, but its mothers day! Therefore, your turn…lol

ninja- It took me three days, seven sources, four fast food runs and lots of myspace restraint, but I finally finished that stupid paper…

karrie b- yes its pretty cool. I hope you can eventually work things out with your mom. When I was your age it wasn’t always rainbows and sunshine. It takes time and its hard, but in the end its worth it…;p

eb- yes, I am a swirl…

suite- yeah, I always thought my dad was the one with the sense of humor, but I can tell my mom any of my weird jokes and she’ll always humor me…

bella- happy mothers day to you!

uber- I did too…;p

mav- I worked, but I don’t have kids so its ok lol

UBERMOUTH said...

hahahahaha poor mama Pud.

STILL POCAHONTAZ said...

That was sweet.. I remember each of those stories...your mom seems like a lot of fun

Loves it!

Monie said...

Awwww!

Your mom is awesome! LOL!