Thursday, May 8, 2008

She Set Me Back A Load

I was using a public bathroom the other day. * Gasp * No actually this is normal. I’m not one of those people who hold in their bodily fluids until they get home. If I got to go, I’ve got to go.

In fact, I’ve mastered the pop-a-squat-put-toilet-paper-around-the-entire-seat-don’t touch-anything art of peeing or what have you in public restrooms. It’s an acquired skill that comes from bar hopping and having four brothers who don’t understand the concept of aiming into the giant toilet bowl. (Honestly guys, is it that hard?)

So anyway, I had to go pee in a stall the other day. I had just went to get change and I'd forgotten it was in my pockets. When I pulled down my jeans all my laundry money fell out of my pockets and rolled into the stall next to me. I leaned under as I’m peeing to try and grab it and I see the feet of some chick. “Crap.” So I decide to wait until she leaves to start collecting.

I hear her leave and think to myself, “ok good, now I can get my quarters.” Mind you I’m still sitting down with my pants around my knees. I look under as I hear her door swing open and ALL MY CHANGE IS GONE! WTF? Did this heffa swipe all my quarters?!

She had on cute shoes so I assumed she might help me out and give them to me when I got done. But by the time I got my pants on, flushed and came busting out the stall, that heffa was gone.

Since when did people start stealing quarters in public restrooms? Ok stupid question. It’s not the money.It’s the principle, dammit.If I ever find that chick, I’m going to make her separate
my lights and darks…

MsP

36 comments:

Skinny Girl said...

What a skanky thing to do!!!!!!
I thought that chicks were meant to look out for each other.
Byatch!
S X

12kyle said...

wait a minute, MsP...did you wash yo damn hands? LMAO!!!

Seriously, that's grounds for an ass kickin

Jocular Schlemiel said...

It isn't as easy as you would think. Sometimes shit just goes in different directions. You could be a sharp shooter and still miss.

Babyfaced said...

Damn... got jacked while pissin...

Pronto said...

Or, you could always leave your carbon footprint on her ass.....

Agree with jocular, by the way, and there is always the possibility of splashback, too....

Folk said...

that's fvcked up Pudin. Maybe that helfa will get a nail fungus from the floor piss!

Prunella Jones said...

Hmmm if I were sitting in a stall and a bunch of quarters rolled my way after I flushed, I'd assume I'd hit the jackpot. Woo hoo! I'd flush ten more times. But then I'm a blonde.

j/k that bitch was a thief who deserved an ass whooping.

Stew said...

wow. who knew that theiving transfered into bathrooms too. guess she had laundry too. BTW, its not that we miss and hit the seat, sometimes the initial *splash* when it first comes out pops water up and it lands on the seat. it's hard for women to realize this because your piss only travels a few inches, while somtimes ours has to travel a few feet.

anonymousnupe said...

To elaborate on what Stew so eloquently described, for some of us it's more than just a few feet. For instance, at home I have to stand back all the way into the shower so as not to touch the water with my tip when I make my bladder gladder. And hence, just like with three-point shots, accuracy decreases the farther back we have to stand and the more mass we have to hold while we aims.

And, so, you didn't hear homegirl scooping up the change from the floor? She must be cat-like, in that case, and you proly don't wanna mess wit her. And did this take place in the bathroom at the laundromat?

Lady Cameleon said...

This shit was helllaaaa funny you know why????????cause i woulda jacked yo ass too....lol.....you hold tight to ur cash these days with gas prices soarin'......lmao

MsPuddin said...

ok am I going to get into it with the guys on this post?

Memo: if you piss on or around the seat, wipe it up!!! lol I understand sometimes your aim may be off, but that s just nasty...

Afrodite said...

Lmao!!! that beezy!

anonymousnupe said...

Just markin' our territory, baby. Oh, no, wait, that's the Omegas.

Deutlich said...

Ew. Ew. EW. that is NASTY!

Don said...

too funny.

i'm trippin' more off where you said, "since she had on cute shoes i thought she would give my money."

can it beeee that it was all soooo simple. LOL.

STILL POCAHONTAZ said...

LMAO at 12 kyle....but um did you..LOL

That was wayyyy to funny...please tell me you dont pee with your pants around your ankles...what kind got damn bull shyt is that..LOL

MsPuddin said...

my pants were around my knees and I washed my hands b*tches!!!

i.can't.complain. said...

what kind of whore steals quarters from a public restroom floor.

what kinda madness.

hopefully she used them well.

bought some gumballs or something

sorry about that, ms. puddin

-1-

Bella said...

MsP, that is unbelievable!

One time I was in a stall. I looked down and there was this hand reaching below in the stall next to me.

Then a voice said, "Pass me some tissue hon."

I thought that was hilarious but did as I was told!

Muze said...

yeah now that was just evil.

i'd have had to find her arse and put her on major blast when i got out.

and how did she scoop it up without you hearing?

oooh that would piss me off. seriously? some quarters? wow.

and i totally understand about the men and the pee on the toilet.

just nasty... it's like, did you NOT see that big glop of liquid you left on the seat? wipe it up jerk! lol.

Monie said...

LOL That's messed up!

G-Sweet said...

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahaha... classic!.... this could only happen to you!

lmao!

UBERMOUTH said...

LOL When I was a teenager, I went rollerskating with my lunch money in my pocket( all change- even nickels) and I fell My money scattered and
I had to crawl around on my hands and knees between the skaters, as I picked up the money like a hobo. :)

Jadore.Tokeyo said...

LOL!!!!

you got caught with your pants down..literally!!!

karrie b. said...

ughhh NO! thats breaking some kind of girl code or something. maybe she needed to do laundry really badly or something ;/

-KB

c.watson said...

Ha, although I have to admit if I see a bunch of quarters rolling at me their mine (I am a broke college student). But then I'm pretty sure you could take me in a fight so I would have given them back.

Do you normally drop stuff out of your pants when you pee? Because that kind of thing is a novice mistake.

Sunshyne said...

ol girl know she coulda pushed the quarters back wit her foot

Mister Underhill said...

It's crazy how many people will steal anything, any time. They deserve a face full of lead.

She W0rd Hustlez said...

Damn, I would've been pissed too! First I hate doing laundry and then this chick steals your laundry money! Hell nah!

The Pew View said...

Baby, if I was you, I would have found that heffa and beat her with a bag of nickels! I mean that's what I would have done in my B.C. days.

Signed
Ruthie Ann

MsPuddin said...

sunshyne- ya feel me!

welcome to all my new readers. yay! but um yall about to have me get my vaseline and take my nose ring out wtf???

YoungBlackBeauty said...

That's pretty messed up. I would have tracked that broke chick down and got my change back. LOL! I really enjoying ready all your posts. Very interesting.

catscratch diva said...

Not right. She'd be washing the g-strings in Woolite by hand, the beyach.

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