Thursday, December 20, 2007

I Dream of Weenie

I had a sex dream the other night.

It was with one of my male readers, whom I have never met. (Sorry, but no Slaus it wasn’t you). I’ll try to detail it, although describing a dream is like trying to explain the plot of a movie in Spanish, to someone who only speaks Chinese.

A dream only makes sense in the dreamer’s mind.

In short, the whole dream was one big gigantic orgasm. I just remember floating, like I was in heaven. There wasn’t any dialogue, just some moaning sound effects and a real blurry visual. I don’t even know if homeboy was packin’ or not. It wasn’t a freak nasty dream. It was all mentally stimulated and happened in slow motion. Ha, it was a sexual seduction...



Anyway, I’m not complaining, but it was weird. Having a random-sex-with-a-stranger-dream is creepy in more ways than one. Not only does this mean that I need to get laid and I blog way too much, but it was the best sex I’ve ever had. (I woke up sweating and I needed a cigarette). My intuition after this encounter is so sad. I have better sex with myself in my mind then I do in real life with another person. However, on the plus side, at least I can’t get pregnant having a random-sex-with-a-stranger-dream.

Now enough posts about sex. I don’t want this blog to turn into a place where people come to get a load off. Unless I’m getting paid, of course. Then I’ll talk dirty…

33 comments:

Strength/Courage/Wisdom said...

DANG!!!! Wish I had a dream like that. What's stopping you from hooking up with this male reader? I'm just sayin'.....

Mister Underhill said...

Wow, I dreamed I was with you, too ;)

Slick said...

But girl, we barely know each other ;)

Unless you're gettin' paid huh? I have a couple of dollars ;)

Mortarbored said...

I TOLD YOU SO.

anonymousnupe said...

Can't have been me, 'cause I would have put you to sleep in your dream. Whoa! (Keanu Reeves style.) That just made me dizzy. It's too late in the day to be thinking that deep.

Ms. Behaving said...

LMAO @ the title of your post.

As far as my comment goes...I second every bit of what strength/courage/wisdom said.

GO GET EM' GURL!!!

Prunella Jones said...

Wow, that sounds like a good one. I'm jealous. My dreams are usually about being chased by dancing poodles, or something equally stupid.

G-Sweet said...

Lol... ur hella funny... but sex dreams are great but they piss me off cuz I wake up like......... "WHERE THE FUCK DID STACY DASH GO"... "AWWWW FUCK!, IT WAS ANOTHER DREAM!"

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

A sex dream indicates that you really like somebody, not that you desire them.

I read that in a dream book once.

I'm not sure why I was reading a dream book. Maybe to figure out why I dream about spiders and scorpions so much.

Preposterous Ponderings said...

I say look this fellow up and make that dream a reality!!!!!!!

Mister Underhill said...

Forgive me if I am going beyond the realms of good taste and offending you (something I always eventually do, it seems) and usually this is a more g rated blog but here is the comment I originally wanted to post on your last entry:

Please donate to the united blogger playa's club. Because a pussy is a terrible thing to waste.

MsPuddin said...

s/c/w- lol um negative…I’ve never met this person before…

mister underhill- lol what makes you so sure…

slick- I know, I know, I move quickly keep up. A couple dollars, come on, I’m not a cheap whore…it’s all about the Benjamins

mortarbored- us bloggers need to get more booty…

anonymousnupe- ha ha Keanu Reeves style. Really though? I’m thinking more of that opening love scene from the movie 300, that’s what I’m talking about!

ms.behaving- lol yall is both crazy!

prunella jones- mine are usually about weird sh*t too. I must have had a good drink before bed that night…

G- you and Stacey, get a room already!

Lightning bug’s butt- I once had a dream that my mom had twins…does that mean anything?

preposterous ponderings- all of you are crazy! I love it, but I’m not looking this person up…

MsPuddin said...

Not offended…I might have to steal that one…my blog is G rated because nosey people (not you) read it…

Mister Underhill said...

I was just kidding around. I have had 3-4 blog girls have sex dreams about me. Maybe it's because it's safe since I'm far away?

NYCPonderings Chick said...

damn i think i stared at that first photo for a god ten minutes till i had to be snapped back into reality...dreams like that mess with your head cause you wake up wanting it but not with anyone in particular...except..yourself i guess

Steph said...

I don't think there is a blogger alive that hasn't already experienced this, or WILL experience it at some point.

Pretty weird huh.

BottleBlonde said...

Like Steph said, it's happened to almost all of us. I once had a dream that I was fucking a blogger whose avatar was a cartoon. So in essence I was bangin' a cartoon.

And I LOVE LOVE LOVE Snoop's new song.

CapCity said...

LOL! I'm SOO w/NYCponderings chick - that photo is the BALM Diggity! I came by to say I loved your Capt. Hooker costume & may "borrow" it for future halloweens (i'm so unoriginal on that day;-).

Happy HO-Ho-Holiday, Sis! LOL!

Divalicious said...

Sexy, naughty dreams are nice. Aren't dreams an extension of what you been thinkin whilst awake??

If so, I'm certainly in trouble.

Slaus of O Hell Nawl said...

..... this is some booolshyt and I am going to lick the rim of all the glasses in your home.

I remember i dreamed about sex with one of my readers years ago. someone who used an avatar of Sailor moon. let me tell you.. the shyt was 5 blocks past inapropriate and i felt the need to go to confessional like a mofo afterwards. I didnt go though. I stayed home and watched some animated japanese porn instead.

Slaus of O Hell Nawl said...

I just wanted to come back and reiterate my point of: this is some boooolshyt.

thank you for your time.

MsPuddin said...

mr underhill- it might have something to do with the size of your weenie…

nyc chick- yeah must be nice huh…oh girl was gettin’ some get gettin’ some …

steph- oh is was awesome and weird all wrapped up in one bubble. I don’t regret it, because I got mines! Ha!

bb- I know that song is my new ring tone…and sex with a cartoon character is hot, I’ve always wanted to turn bugs bunny out.

capcity- welcome! Thanks, that costume will get you a lot of numbers…

divalicious- aw shit we both would be, because I do some other crazy shit in my dreams besides get some booty…

slaus- LOLOLOL

aw man, mad that it wasn’t you so you gonna lick the rim of my glasses, you nasty…and Sailor moon? I remember that after school special, let me tell you how inappropriate that is. Some secret desire to have sex with a blonde Japanese girl ain’t right…

Mister Underhill said...

LOL

I just wish I had sex dreams. I feel cheated. It never happens to me!

Still_Pocahontaz said...

I HEART SLAUS....HE SLAYS ME, IM TALKING LAUGHING SO HARD I VOMIT AND IT COMES OUT MY NOSE SLAY.

HMMMM...nosey ass minds want to know, who were you doing in your dreams...Was this blogger male/female, tall/short, is the blog any good??? Im trying to narrow shit down

UBERMOUTH said...

and it's not like he can blog about it. :)
Merry Christmas Ms.Pud!

onthevirg said...

You're welcome.

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Once I had this vivid dream that I was banging a really hairy chick. When I woke up, I found my dog hiding under the bed.

marky said...

OK, I know that your dream was about me. I think we should prolly try some version of the real thing.

-Q. said...

I just got a question-was Snoop playing his new joint from the video and 'Its a Doggy Dog's World'? If so maybe throw a little Curtis Mayfeild.. Thats som freeeky shit. Happy Holidays -Q.

MsPuddin said...

mister u- I guess that’s better than being cheated on…

still_p- I can’t kiss and tell! And yes Slaus is alright in my book…

ubermouth- you too!

onthevirg- lol a little over confident now are we?

md- well I hope you used a condom…glad I don’t have THOSE dreams…

marky- wow. Everyone thinks they had sex w me…

-q- you lost me on your question…sexual explosion is his new single and he is just making fun of old school music…curtis mayfield is the business though...

Muze said...

this is hilarious. can't believe i'm reading this so late. i bet i can take a guess who it was......lol.

i'd prob be wrong though. if not, it means we've both done him in our sleep! lol.

Muze said...

no way i could ever blog about it though. whew....can't imagine all the drama that would cause. lol.

Marcus Langford Is The Name said...

What a way to experience a complete stranger (daydreaming).

Marcus Langford