Wednesday, August 8, 2007

ManDingo Wants to Shaboink-ya: Part II

The saga continues…

Where do I meet these types of guys? Bars mainly. Sometimes in the parking lot of bars…

To get every one up to speed, I’m dating and “new guy” is packin’ in the meat department. He sent me pictures on my cell phone to prove it after I told him that I thought he had a little d*ck. I’m positive it was his shaboinka, because he is all tatted up on his arm and he has a distinct tat on his thumb. The same hand he was holding his shaboinka.

Of course, (not that I’m one to gossip) I went and showed my girls who squealed in an OMG-wtf-is-that tone. See it wasn’t just me. The shock factor towards the “new guy’s” shaboinka was legit. It doesn’t accommodate his persona or his physique. He is not cocky (no pun intended) at all, about 5’11” and fifteen years older than me.

I would like to say the weekend ended there, but it didn’t. The same girls, plus a few more and I, all decided to go out on Saturday night too. We spent the night bar hopping and passing around my cell phone so every one could take a closer look at “new boy’s” shaboinka.


“If you don’t go for it, we will!” said my friends.

The last stop of the night we all decided to go (stumbled) to a dive bar on the far side of town. I knew that “new guy” liked to go there, because I usually bump into him there, so I called (drunk dialed) him to see if he wanted to meet up for drinks.

When “new guy” walked up to the bar about five of my girlfriends were sitting out in front. It was priceless

I think everything switched into slow motion. The wind picked up and “new guy’s” swagger got a little smoother. Two other guys accompanied him on either side and they were all dressed in black. Every single one of my girlfriends (heffas) hopped up surrounding him, groping him. Saying things like, “hayyyyyyy”, and “ooo, I like your tattoos” or “what’s your nationality?” in sexy voices. (He's Portuguese for the record).

If I thought I was embarrassed when he told me I told him I thought he had a little d*ck, I thought wrong. This moment was embarrassing. It reminded me of this one time in high school, when I was at a house party and I fell down a long staircase. I landed flat on my face, the record scratched and every one gasped. In front of the bar I turned the same bright shade of red.

How could he NOT know I showed them the pictures? He looked over at me and grinned sheepishly. Ha! ManDingo was just a embarrassed as I was.

The night ended shortly after that when we found one of the girls in the bathroom with her pants around her ankles. She was crying hysterically and had mascara running down her cheeks.

I still don't know what to do about "new boy".

A part of me wants to test drive it and another part is telling me to stay away, far, far, away...

5 comments:

country roads said...

The fact that he was embarrassed and played it off scores him points in the go for it column.

Porscha said...

Oh, Honey!!!! Alright, lemme think on this for a bit. He's kind of a pushover when it comes to his personality, but that's just because he's so much older, P. He wants to keep you so he thinks that giving you anything you want and being all sticky-sweet is going to keep you.
Now about his "Shaboinka" lol. You are wild. I hope he knows how to work it, because otherwise it's just a waste. Wait a little while before you get that far with him. I would let him continue to prove himself worthy before I decided to test drive that.
Portuguese? Is that sexy? I slept with a Brazilian a few times (they speak the same language) and that was the hottest sex ever. Hmmm, just something to consider.

MsPuddin said...

Cr- yeah we talked and he didn’t seem to mind that I showed them…

P- (I hope you don’t mind I call you P?) OH NO girl even thought I’ve seen I’m still not convinced. Plus he is still sugary sweet. Like (bleh) barf nice. I don’t get it. Maybe it is an older guy thing.

About his shaboinka I said the same thing! What if it’s big, but there’s no motion in the ocean…

onthevirg said...

Well thanks, just when I thought my light switch was plenty. Now you ladies are just proving that you really want the guys that have the kielbasa. *Sniff*

Seriously though, if I was hung like that I'd be wearing clothes like this all the time.

G-Sweet said...

"A part of me wants to test drive it and another part is telling me to stay away, far, far, away..."

U KNOW U AINT GOIN FAR FAR NOWHERE... LMAO!