Thursday, August 16, 2007

“Kinda” the reason why I’m single (#2, 841)…

WARNING: I’m having a "girl moment" and this post contains a high volume usage of the F word. Reader discretion is advised.

My ex sent me a msg yesterday that said, (and I quote) “I kinda miss you.”

WTF is that supposed to mean? I know I shouldn’t care, but that msg f*cking bugged the sh*t out of me. You don’t tell someone that. It’s like saying I "kinda" don’t like your shirt or I "kinda" want to punch you in the face.

Translation: That is the ugliest f*cking shirt I’ve ever f*cking seen and I want to punch you in the f*cking face until your nose bleeds for f*cking wearing it. PS - I miss you.

Did that make any sense? I didn’t think so.

In retrospect he never really was any good with words. Talking to my ex was somewhat similar to holding a conversation with my microwave. Not that I expect much from my microwave, but there was a rare occasion when my ex would say something stimulating or funny.

The worst were his compliments, which were few and far between. When he did compliment me I felt like saying, never mind forget it, because he would say stuff like, “I like your boobs” or “you smell like a girl.”

And YOU think YOUR sexually frustrated? Try having sex with a guy who thinks it’s romantically flattering to comment on the fact that I have boobs. Yes, thank you Captain Obvious. And YOU have a penis, which apparently does all the thinking. I could just imagine us getting it on and him whispering in my ear, “ooh baby, you "kinda" feel good and I'm “kinda” cuming so could you “kinda” talk dirty?”

NEVER in my life have I ever wanted to go down on a guy and use my teeth more then I do right now. I really wish he wouldn’t contact me AT ALL. “Kinda”? Seriously, who the f*ck says “kinda” and “miss” in the same sentence? I know I’m WAY over analyzing that short little msg right now, but I think I have a valid argument.

Are all guys intellectually challenged?

Telling a girl how you really feel is not the end of the world. There are worse things, like AIDS, world hunger or passing out drunk, eagle style, without wearing any underwear.

I know, I know, what was I doing with him in the first place? At this moment, I have no f*cking clue. Getting over my ex was hard and people told me that eventually he would do something so f*cked up it would push my feelings for him right out the window.

I “kinda” think this one was it…

24 comments:

anonymousnupe said...

You have this uncanny knack for knowing pretty precisely what your readers are thinking. (“Uh, so how is it that you two hooked up in the first place? His snappy repartee and keen wit, you say?")

And let me translate that text message for you, if I may, since it's written in the very esoteric language of planet Testosteronia: "Please let me filet you one more time, as in immediately."

I could lose my Man Card for doing that, you know, Ms. P?

You're welcome.

Mortarbored said...

In his defense, it sounds like he was just trying not to come on too strong.

Think of someone saying, "Ya know, I kinda wanna go to the park today." It's a lot more mellow than barking, "I want to go to the park."

Probably his way - however lame it may be - of saying, "You know, I've got some feelings for you. Do you?"

onthevirg said...

Are all guys intellectually challenged?

The answer, simply, is yes. We're all fucking retards when it comes to women. It's genetic, we can't help it.

That said, your ex saying something like that is Just.Fucking.Stupid. You never phrase your feelings/thoughts for women in terms such as: more, kind of, almost, as much as, etc. Unless you're cruising for the proverbial bruising.

What a dumbass.

MsPuddin said...

Nupe- Oh well that helped a little, you putting your Man Card out on the line and all. So let me get this straight, “I kinda miss you” = horny ex boyfriend who needs help flexing his vocab?

Motarbored- Wait. Hold up. Did you just take his side? Un-f*cking-believable!

OntheVirg- LOL yeah “as much as” I “almost” “kinda” wanted to call him and tell him what a dumbass he is, I didn’t…

So@24 said...

I agree with Mortarbored... it sounds like he was trying to lighten it up or at least spin it off as "cute" by throwing in the "kinda".

I always had a hard time expressing how I really felt. I always did other things that showed it, but it was really difficult saying it for some reason. I guess my reasoning is, you hear people all the time say shit like "I love you" and "I miss you" so much that it loses it's significance over time.

But you're right... there are worse things than saying how you feel. Something to work on.

blog Portland said...

Anonymousnupe did a brave thing here, and know that he speaks the truth. Then again, maybe this is just another one of his sideways compliments to let you know you're higher on his list than a prostitute.

Dyck!! said...

Do you have a larger version of that picture? It's for a friend.

Bella said...

Why can't men just say what they mean???

anonymousnupe said...

Bella, don't be an idiot. If we said what we meant we'd be a different species. Sheesh. Ack like ya know.

Ms. P., no, it's wasn't your boyz vocab he was tryna get you to help him flex.

Mister Underhill said...

That was kinda funny.

G-Sweet said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
G-Sweet said...

yea that "Kinda" shit, is like kicking the chair from under ur feet...

quick story...
for all-star weekend in Vegas, Zack seen this cute ass girl and when he approached her he said , "blah blah blah, im KINDA feelin you, blah blah blah"... and her response was "ur kinda feelin me?... yea well im gonna KINDA go over here and chill with my friends" and proceeded to walk away.

the shit was pure comedy, even he was crackin up!... so the moral of this story is use that word carefully!...hahaha!



Bella, Why can't men just say what they mean???

- BECAUSE THEN WE'D BE WOMEN... lol!

MsPuddin said...

So@24- your taking his side too? I thought we were better than that…

blog portland- so what YOU RE saying is that if I have sex with anonymousnupe I might make some extra cash?

dyck!!- a friend huh? Actually I googled “passed out drunk eagle style” who knew?

bella- my point exactly, wtf???

anonymousnupe- you say “different” like it’s a bad thing…

mister underhill- and you kinda not

G- yeah Zack be killin’ me with the ladies! And what’s wrong with being a woman?

c j. said...

i am no guy myself, but i've been taking manglish 101 for a while now, and i kinda have to agree with anonymousnupe. i take his msg to mean: one last time for the old times? kinda please?
delete, delete, delete. as a kinda favor to you.

Smitty said...

Damn...comparing the brothas conversation to a microwave.. Classic. There are some good guys out there you just have to fuck with the bad ones to find em. Ya know kinda like trial and error. But it sounds like your hitting a lot of errors.

Thats like saying "I kinda want some head" its either you do or you don't bruh! stop making us look bad!

G-Sweet said...

FBP, What's wrong with being a woman?

Nothing @ all... but ironically a lot of women don't like or can't understand women... so I guess there is something wrong...

But don't let me be a hypocrite cuz I LOVE WOMEN!

UBERMOUTH said...

I think you should write him one back saying, " I kinda remember who you are. You were the one I kinda liked f**king"

Damsel Underdressed said...

My ex-husband used to consider this line foreplay. "Want me to poke you?" Nice. Men are stupid.

oestrebunny said...

I got a similar message from an ex. It 'kinda' made me want to beat him about the head a bit.

Men are such fuckwits sometimes it's unreal.

Porscha said...

I dunno what it is but I feel like some men have this sixth sense that tells them when you're officially moving on with your life so that they can come back and mess with your head. It's the worst thing ever. They never delete your phone number.

Drea said...
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Drea said...

Now Ms. P.... You know I hate this f@%king idiot with a passion. We have had numerous conversations about this idiot and how he knows he can get to you simply by leaving you a dunb ass text. This foo is just lookin for some ass and to start off the conversation leading to the "hopefull ass" he leaves a text message thinkin it would either have you confused, mad or think its sweet with it all hopefully leading to you callin him and from there pullin you in with more of his BS. F$%#KING IDIOT, I HATE HIM!!!!

Just a Girl said...

don't leave us hangin'..what was your reply? (sure hope you used 'kinda' in a sarcastic way)

MsPuddin said...

c.j.- where can I sign up for this 101 class? Obviously I have a lot of learning to do…

smitty- I could have compared it to a toaster, tomato tomahto …

G- girls are just catty that’s all…

ubermouth- oh I did, I did…

damsel underdressed- ha ha, yeah sounds along the lines of the same thing. Did that do it for you? I mean seriously? At least he didn’t say “I kinda want to poke you”

oestrebunny- fuckwits. Hmmm…that’s a new one, I was going to say what a jerktard

porscha- I think you hit the nail on the head, because he only calls me when I’ve gotten him out of my system…

drea- LOL do I sense some animosity? If he needs an ass whoopin’ I know who to call!

just a girl- oh yeah definitely. I sent him back, “I’m glad I kinda have that affect on people”. Needless to say he never responded back after that.