Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Women are complicated and men are horny 101


Some more information passed onto me from g-sweet. Thanks homie. ;p

WOMEN'S ENGLISH

1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH

1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay

.....

*A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle. For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.

However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.

28 comments:

oestrebunny said...

However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.

This actually made me laugh out loud. Love it!

12kyle said...

Good one, MsP

#7 reminds me of a convo that I had with one of my boys last year. He met some chick at a club and they danced all night long. He said that it got pretty hot on the floor. According to him, she was "feinin'" for him. He just KNEW that he was gonna smash it that night. No luck!

LOL

Baby Kiki Wallace, Reporter said...

However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.

....exactly how I feel RIGHT NOW.

Ms Smack said...

hi Ms P! First time visitor here. I just wanted to drop you a quick return comment and say hi, and thanks for visiting my little piece of blog-space!

I'll be back!

Suite B said...

lol

Ms. Behaving said...

LMAO!!!!

So that's what it all boils down to huh??
[SEX is about ALL most men think about.]

MsPuddin said...

bunny- me too! It was from an email G sent me, but it spoke to me lol

12k- see, always one step ahead and then two steps behind. 9 times out of 10 she doesnt want to bone you guys...

kiki- may I offer you some chocolate perhaps???


ms smack- thanks for stopping by! I think we have been dodging each other for some time now lol

suite b- ;p

ms. behaving- every second of everyday! Is that you in your default? work it mamas!

MsP

Qucifer said...

BWHAHAHA *several degrees of rigor mortis are about happening to me*

maverick said...

ha ha ha tht was funny..n the scientific research thing...lol...who did that research :D

btw check out the video on my blog :)

Christina said...

LMAO i've read this before and it's still funny LOL

Don said...

Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you

Yep.

Here's another one:

It's not you. It's something I have to work out myself = I plan on spending more time with my other female friend.

karrie b. said...

YUP.

this whole post is the truth. men are from mars...you know the rest.

-KB

anonymousnupe said...

Sure, who doesn't like fresh banana puddin' = Well, you know

Still_Pocahontaz said...

that last part...HILARIOUS

Slausin-Ass Slaus said...

Personally I say fugg yall Menstral Cycle. Iont wanna hear it.

Yall got through that shyt every month.. you know its coming.. it aint a suprise attack. it doesnt come out of the blue.- so STFU. With all the miracles of Tylenol, Vicdon, cocaine, aint no need for yall to go through all that pain without help.

Why the helll should men feel bad for what chall bodies SUPPOSED to do.

DOn't get mad at me. Talk to the hard head bytch Eve. Hope that Apple was good heffa.

:: rock out ::

:: runs as fast as my big azz can ::

Slausin-Ass Slaus said...

I dont even know why women even ask a man what we are thinking about.

it's gone be either one of a few things.

- Guitar Hero.
- banging you
- banging you and your friend.
- You and your friend banging eachother while we play guitar hero.

MsPuddin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MsPuddin said...

q- please step away from the chocolate stand…

mav- I don’t know, but I wouldn’t argue with that…

christina- yeah I got it through email..

don- man, don’t you guys ever use your heads, no not that head, the other one!

kb- men, can’t live with them, can’t leave them bruised and beaten under an overpass…

nupe- aw, so sweet, you must have never seen me on my period…

still_p- for real…

slaus- you know what, why don’t you try bleeding for seven days straight out your penis while a muscle clamp is holding down onto your balls and tell me how YOU feel * pops two advil, a no doze and walks away in an angry huff *

that would be your fantasy, some GOGA w guitar hero. You wanna know how I know you re gay…

Slausin-Ass Slaus said...

@ pudding.. now that doesnt even SOUND fun. Bunk yall ovaries.

" i dont trust anything that can bleed for 7 days without dyin."

hmph.

Im suprised more women dont commit heinous crimes during those 7 days. Cuz if men had to go through that shyt, .... we couldnt take it

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

now that was funny, and sadly true. how ya been hon

Hadassah said...

LOOOOL! @ However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

very cute.

marky said...

HA. Marky luvs it. now, about those boobies.....

Jadore.Tokeyo said...

LOL!!!! this is hilarious, yet so true

G-Sweet said...

THIEF... lol...this shit had me laffin too!

The Flyyest said...

LMAO @ the last part of the post!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Z'maji of HauteBlogXOXO said...

What a flat filthy heavy tiddied minute.......what if those shoes don't go with that outfit?!....

- http://hauteblogxoxo.wordpress.com

biggins said...

These are good. And pretty much, almost accurate.