Monday, April 7, 2008

I still can’t tell whether or not the glass is half empty or full of sh*t…

Hope everyone is having a lovely Monday filled with rainbows, gumdrops, lollipops, blowjobs and a little tongue action. I just wanted to get a few random things off my chest and into cyberspace. For the most part it looks like I won’t be getting laid for a while and I still can’t find my panties, so nothing new really...

THE JOB- A guy spit on my lip when he was talking to me at work the other night. I mean you know how sometimes you accidentally spit when you talk? Well his landed on my lip! I think I’m dying. No seriously, it was gross.

THE PYSCHE - I’ve been having really bad mood swings and I think I might be a little crazy. I told my friend, “Maybe I should get some medication.” She replied, “If you need it, so does everyone else.” *Whew* I thought it was just me.

THE PENIS- Well I promised an update on the new booty. Not good I tell you. Not good at all. I got a call after the whole Playboy mansion weekend. That was nice. How considerate. When he got back he said that he wanted to spend some more time with me, hangout and stuff. So we set up for another date.

He was supposed to call me when he got done helping his dad move. When he hadn’t called I called him and there was no answer, so I assumed he wasn’t done yet. Well, he sure didn’t call AT ALL. The next day I called him and playfully said, “you stood me up!” He was like, “what are you talking about, on my moms (yes, he put it on his mama) I called you like five times.”

Five times??? PLEASE. If you called me five times and my phone was on, at least two of the five calls would have went through, right?

“Well how come you didn’t just leave a me voicemail then,” I asked.

“Girl, you know I don’t leave voicemails,” he replied.

Really, well you sure did leave them before. Ugh. Anyway, long story short, communication sort of fell off after that. I can say that I am disappointed, because I thought I saw potential in him, but I guess I was wrong. The penis f*cked me again and still no orgasm.

THE FAM- My grandpa is a G. After my grandma passed, he has been doing some serious traveling. Coming up this month is his 79th birthday and do you know where he is??? Ecuador and the Galapagos, traveling down the Amazon and sleeping in huts. Handle that grandpa. Handle that.

My mom is coming into town on Wednesday to take me out to dinner. I’ll keep you posted, because I’m sure she wants to talk about my health insurance and uterus…

MsP

29 comments:

oestrebunny said...

Called you 5 times huh? Men actually do think we're such idiots.

Jocular Schlemiel said...

He didn't actually use the word "girl" in a sentence, did he? And I quote, "Girl, you know I don't leave voicemails" Isn't that something a chick would say?

12kyle said...

@ Ms P
Five times and no voicemails? Damn...is that the best excuse that he can come up with? You should've laughed at his ass and hung up.

No meat for you, huh?

*Here's an internet hug for ya*!

NYCPonderings Chick said...

he spit on your lip??? i think i am completely disgusted by that information!

Sabina said...

Oestrebunny is right. They really do think they can get away with any flimsy excuse. Ugh.

Bella said...

Your Grandfather sounds cool!

I'm beginning to worry about your uterus as well...

=) Bella

Babyfaced said...

DAMN.....I don't get to meet his sister!

Unacceptable...

Well at least you cut your losses early.

karrie b. said...

i've got spat on my lip before too. wasn't nice. mr. new booty needs to get it together...and my mom used to call me abt my uterus all the time. ur not alone.

-KB

MsPuddin said...

bunny- I know right? And he put it on his breathing mom, poor her.

joc- yup, he did, trying to smooth talk me, I guess…

12k- aw thanks for the hug. I should have, man I was just like seriously, seriously?

nyc chick- yeah, you think I should go to the doctor?

sabina- his loss, what a dumbass…

bella- lol no worries, if all else fails I’ll pull a JLO and do some type of science experiment when I’m forty…

babyfaced- I know I found out who she was and it wasn’t who we thought it was, so cheer up chippero!

MsPuddin said...

karrie b- damn if your mom calls you about YOUR uterus, I’m thinking about passing on the whole dinner thing…

karrie b. said...

dinner? you were taking me to dinner?

-KB

Qucifer said...

when My grandfather dies (and we're sort of thinking soon here) we should hook you gramps with my Grammy so they can do it up big style and shit!

Qucifer said...

My momma now is even thinking that maybe i could be a single mother or something she just wants me to procreate and all I want is another dog and more penis in my life

MsPuddin said...

karrie- heffa, my moms is taking ME to dinner lol

Q- oh hell yeah. My grandpa just got a new hip replacement too!

Afrodite said...

You are a damn fool, Puddin'! Yeah, these duded are on that bullshit. Five times, though? Yeah, I've heard that excuse. Five times, my ass. Funny how my phone didn't ring....

kayellejaye said...

He's so full of it. Shit, that is. I don't leave VMs either but best believe if I called 5 times I would've.

Whenever someone spits on me I can never decide whether to be obvious and wipe it away or try to play it off like that didn't actually happen. I get so conflicted (and grossed out) I completely tune out the rest of the conversation.

So@24 said...

I apologize for not stopping by more often 'Pudd.

But let me just say that it warms my heart when I see that you're still rockin' with the tongue out. It's comforting to know that some things never change.

Muze said...

new booty? loser.

men are such dicks.

i'm jealous of your grandfather.

i think i might be going crazy with you. whew. if you only knew. lol.


hope things get better.


....i must have missed the playboy mansion story. dangit.

Demon Hunter said...

When someone spits on you, it's always soooo gross. I remember standing in line at the grocery store, and some guy was not watching his personal space, so I kept moving up, and he kept moving up too, talking with his friend. Dude spat on my neck!

It took everything I had not to yell obscenities at him and smash his face into the candy rack. LOL. ;*) I'm not violent, but I AM a germophobe. After I got home and rubbed alcohol on my neck, I hopped into a really hot shower...lol. Ewwww...

Dump that guy, he's a loser.

Your grandpa rocks!!:*)

marky said...

Girl you know I'm just around the corner (almost) if you need more p*nis in you! I won't even get any spit on you or we can do non-fluid exchange things too! I'm full of ideas! Karrie B can send us some toys to experiment with. I'm down!

They have these shirts in Hawaii that say "Old Guys Rule". Grandpa rules i would say. Get him one.

Eb the Celeb said...

I would have died to if someone's spit hit my lip... hella gross...

as for the penis... dude need to stop playing games... if something came up why cant niggaz just say that... damn they so damn stupid... I'm about to turn gay just so I dont have to deal with the ingorance.... I told 12kyle that already and he don't believe me... but that rainbow was looking quite pretty in ya post...lol

anywho... I want to be like P's grandpa when I grow up!

Still_Pocahontaz said...

What a loser....somethings are better left unsaid....forget him Puddin...find us some new booty!!!

Slausin-Ass Slaus said...

maaaan let a mickinfickin azz ficka accidentally spit on my lip. we are going to have the most horirble of misunderstandings. I would find a wya to killa bytch with asparagus if that shyt happened to me.

Canon Adonis said...

Yah, rainbows and blowjobs don't go together over here... but I would take a blowjob from a chick wearing something from Rainbow...

The Job: I'd be overly pissed... I'd have to tell him something... ew...

The Psyche: Medication isn't cool... say no to drugs, say yes to acid... that should mellow you out...

The Penis: Ha... That sucks... Ha

The Fam: Your grandpa is wild... I don't even think I could be doing all of that now!

MsPuddin said...

afrodite- ain’t it funny though…

kayelle- yeah it was a customer so I decided against saying something, because if it was someone I knew I would have busted them out…

so@24- well we are even. I noticed your readership has sky rocketed, so you prob don’t have time, much less need me lol

still rockin w the tongue out baby!

muze- obviously you didn’t miss nothing, he turned out to be a dud

demon hunter- oh I hate that, when you step back and they step closer. It’s like hello!? I just moved for a reason, peep my personal bubble, homie…

marky- really?? Yeah I’ma get him a bib lol

eb- glad you liked it, I felt like being colorful. Yea I hate games, I quit school cuz of recess! Test two baby!

still_p- haha that mos def song just came to mind…

slaus- asparagus? Wtf does asparagus have to do with anything? You need to find a better weapon, unless you gon kill them w your hot ass asparagus breath…

canon- hmmm, what about extasy. I’m done. F*ck alcohol lets just do some drugs baby!

The Ex said...

Bullshit! He nevah called. Kick his ass to the curb.

Canon Adonis said...

Puddin: not much of a pill person. I'd have to crush that shit up and drop in in my drink, roofie style... does it have the same effect, then? fuck that, I'm ain't testing it.

Monie said...

That fuckin bastid...

yes said...

niggas is full of shit! then when u go off on em they look at u like u crazy like u just sposed to get over it