Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Devilish Thoughts

I’m starting to get the vibe that I either have really bad taste in men or my taste is so impeccable that I can’t find a guy to meet my criteria.

Disregarding the fact that all my friends hate my ex-boyfriends, I still don't think it's fair that every time I meet a new guy my friends are always telling me, “you could do better”. I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt (sometimes), because I have been known (on more than one occasion) to be intoxicated while giving out my number.

Inexplicably it’s amazing how I often can’t remember the events of any particular night, but still get phone calls later that week from random guys I've “met”. (There are several numbers I have saved in my cell phone under, “don’t know”). And I’ll admit to having a fatal attraction to “bad boys”; the bonafide assholes seem to be my type.

In my mind, the idea of fighting with a man and the possibility of him throwing me up against a wall before we make out is totally hot. It turns me on. Although, dealing with a man of this nature in real life, as opposed to my twisted fantasies, I might end up having to press charges.

I wish that the bad boys that I meet could instead be like in the movies. In the movies the bad boy is more of a hero. There is only one girl he desires and therefore, he is somewhat of an infatuated, unbalanced stalker all rolled into one. Throughout the movie the bad boy’s past unfolds and he struggles to overcome his pain. Thus, turning him into a good boy and by the end of the movie his sexuality comes into question.

Take Spider man for example, now there’s a bad boy heroine that needs to get laid. Yet, on the plus side he’s harmless. So maybe it’s not the hero that does it for me, maybe I’m more into the villain. The guy that is just evil for no apparent reason. He has no family or background except for maybe a son that is a good bad guy, who comes for revenge after living up to an abusive childhood.

Although, from that perspective my bad boy concept transforms into some kind of Star Wars manipulation and Darth Vader doesn’t really do it for me. He would at least have to take off his mask if he’s ever getting down my pants. I want to see what is behind the mask and look deep into the eyes of the man he truly could be.

And there I go being a woman again. Always trying to change a man. I think I’m going to stick to my fantasies, at least then I will always be satisfied...


country roads said...

ah, if life were only like the movies...See, I try to pull off that troubled soul movie bad boy mystique and it works...for a bit...til I get a couple beers in me and start rambling on about anything and everything. :-P

honkeie2 said...

Hell if women could only be like the ones in those movies I watch online in 30 second clips. You know the ones that yank off your pants, do that thing with their tonges, and let you park the beef bus in every port in the loading dock then finish you off with a little hoover vacuum workage.
And yes fantasy is always better than reality:
Case in point-
Fantasy: Two women one dude.
Reality: Two women left unsatisfied ganging up on him bitching about how he did not last long enough, he did kiss as good as their last boyfriend, that he spent too much time with the other one, made them sit in the wet spot, did not put the seat down, did not do the clean up when he was done, and how their fathers were right about the myth of men with big feet. And the man, not listening to anything being said, whiping of the love gun on a pillow case, raiding the fridge, and then sneaking out the back door after sneaking pictures on his cell phone to prove to the guys at work that he did bang the girl in the mailroom and the chick in the last cubical last night.

MsPuddin said...

cr- I feel you a few drinks in me I'm not as smooth as I used to be

H2- LOL at that...for real...have you seen dave chappelle where he does his laundry in slow motion? Everything looks better in movies and slow motion!

G-Sweet said...

I also agree FBP... the fantasy is far fetched... but one day Stacy Dash will come and fall madly in love with me... lmao!

onthevirg said...

In my mind, the idea of fighting with a man and the possibility of him throwing me up against a wall before we make out is totally hot.

I hear Federline is available right now. I kid, I kid. He's too much of a pussy to slam anyone against a wall I'm thinking.