Saturday, September 8, 2007

Working Girl

I have been broke since I went to Las Vegas back in February. If I had played my cards right (no pun intended) I should have came back from Vegas better off than I’d started. Strapped for cash, how I spent my summer drunk is beyond me. I guess it must be the benefit of having boobs and a vagina. Those two sure do come in handy when I’m sober and in a bar.

But now I really need to take life more seriously, buckle down, get a REAL job and make some REAL money. So I've recently decided to get a second job as a server, in order to make some extra cash. The new spot I’m working, ( not that I'm their spokesperson or anything), is a cross between a club, a crack house and Paris Hilton’s apartment (I’m guessing). Whoever came up with the idea for this place was smoking some serious sh*t and since it’s a chain, I know they’re making some serious money.

Allow me to describe this place…

It has 32 bowling lanes, with theatre style flat screen TV’s at the end of each lane, tuned into every single ESPN sports channel that ever existed or will be invented. There is a full bar, (minus Pacifico & Casadores Blanco, boo) a restaurant, a pool hall, an arcade, a DJ and it’s located inside a shopping mall.

The only downside is our uniforms. I have to wear this…

(Except imagine mine in hot pink). Bleh.

Apparently at work I go by the name, “hey sexy” or “damn baby”. So most of the guys that come in there are known as, “hi d*ckhead” or “f*ck off asshole.” How else am I supposed to respond to that? The funniest thing is that when I’m working and I lean over guys really try to look up my dress. If you think I got nothing under this, you got another thing coming, as if would leave my house without my spanky pants.
Other than the perverts, I'm enjoying my new job. I will see if the long hours even out with the tips...

20 comments:

BottleBlonde said...

Eeeek! Please don't tell me you have to wear those shoes, too. PLEASE.

MsPuddin said...

bottleblonde- LOL hell no! It’s not much better though. Fishnets and flat, black knee high boots…

Mortarbored said...

Lucky Strike?

Cunning Linguist said...

I have to be honest here. The uniform isn't as bas as a Hooters outfit, per se. I'll agree on the footwear. Usually I like that kinda stuff but those shoes have to go. ( yes ladies, I'm totally hetero all the way. Imagine that)

Think of the bright side. Pink won't show the blood from the patrons as you smack a serving tray upside thier heads for peeking under to see your spanks.

MsPuddin said...

motarbored- LOL no comment

cunning linguist- OH no! We don’t have to wear those shoes. My bad I should have mentioned that. Yeah I once had a customer who told me a story of going into a different restaurant than where I work. And one of the waitresses hit him over the head with the menu, because he didn’t want cheese on his omelet…

Diarrhea of the Mouth said...

i kind of miss my serving day. the cash on hand was always good.

now i'm an office bitch.

phishez_rule said...

Do you have to wear those shoes too? Whoops. Jsut read the comments. They make you wear fishnets? Thats a sexual harassment claim waiting to happen.

Don said...

Judging by your sensous looks and sharp personality, I am convinced that you will get your fair share of tips. And phone numbers slipped to you on torn pieces of napkins.

anonymousnupe said...

And, so, if you were dressed like that and no one tried to peek, and there were no cat calls at all, then what would you think?

Mighty Dyckerson said...

I'd like to see you do a 7-10 split in that outfit.

MsPuddin said...

diarrhea of the mouth- I have an office job too and boy is it boring. I like my serving job. It’s an excuse not to have to go to the gym…

phishez_rule- yup nets and spanky pants. I wonder if all the managers being male has anything to do with this…hmmm

don- ha! Funny you should say that, some guy asked for my number today…

anonymousnupe- Lets get this guy a shot! He’s not drunk enough to appreciate my beauty!

mighty dyckerson- I’m sure you do. Unfortunately I’m not very flexible. I got skills, but negative on the flexibility…

MsPuddin said...

anonymousnupe- do you have a blog?

So@24 said...

who knew bowling attire could be so bangin??

no excuses for the "hey babys" and the up-the-skirt looks though

country roads said...

Why, oh why don't we have a place like this around here? Stupid east coast.

c j. said...

is paris hilton one of your co-workers? i'd swear i saw a picture of her wearing one just like that (but in hot pink) only a couple of days ago...

UBERMOUTH said...

I am sure you look great in your uniform. I would wear big ugly bloomers though!LOL

G-Sweet said...

"I have been broke since I went to Las Vegas back in February."...

OMG... we're singin the same song... my finances have been in shambles every since that all-star weekend shit(i did have hella fun tho')...

I'm looking for another job too, wish me luck!

and this bowling place sounds like fun, [thinking] "ESPN on every TV, yesssssss"... lmao!

onthevirg said...

I've gotta ask, what in the hell is this place? I live in Cali (though some would disagree since I live in the IE) and I've never heard of such an establishment. Especially since it's a chain. It sounds like somewhere an ADD person would never want to go.

MsPuddin said...

so- the dresses do it for you? I don’t know, I’m not feeling it.

cr- east coast? Isn’t that close to NYC. Actually the chain started in NYC

c.j.- she would rock something so hideous like it was “hot”

um- I don’t own anything but spanky pants. I mean it’s nothing most people haven’t seen before, oh well.

G- I’m telling you. Ever since all star weekend I’ve been broke, it’s so sad. LOL @ your yessssss. You re killin’ me…

otv- the most I can give you is in the Bay Area…LOL it’s new though only been officially open on the west coast since the summer…

Wylie said...

Definitely Lucky Strike. The "shopping mall" and flat screens with ESPN gave it away.

You poor soul.