Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Alcohol + Hot Date = Bad Idea

In case no one went out to celebrate on my behalf yesterday, it’s ok, because I did. Well, actually I was on a date and had one to many glasses of wine. I always drink too much on dates. Then I wake up the next morning curious as to why a tub of Crisco is smeared all over my body and “I’ll take you to the candy shop,” is on repeat in my stereo.

Last night wasn’t any different. And yes for those of you who seem so concerned about my love life, I’m dating again. Between all this bitching and moaning about being single, I love it. Really I do. It’s a blessing. I’m enjoying my freedom. (Cue the violins, because this lonely bitch needs to get laid). But to put a few of my reader’s minds at rest (*hint*, *hint*) I want to say that for the record, I met someone. He’s a cool cat. I appreciate him. He’s on salary and has good credit.

I guess I would call last night a double date. It was my date and I, his boy and his boy’s “friend”. (Whatever that means). We all went to the comedy club because my date said he had got an email Bruce Bruce was performing.

When we got there it was really Bruce something or other from, “Last Comic Standing”. I don’t know, but he was a tall white guy, not a fat, black Bruce Bruce. Apparently, he only performs on Fridays.

The guys wanted to leave, but I talked them into staying. I told them if we got drunk enough it would be a great show! Of course most comedy clubs have a two-drink minimum anyway. I think it's to make the comedians funnier. Whatever, I’ll pass your minimum and raise you drunk. Man I was drunk last night.

After the show, I hugged every single guy that went on stage and told them their act was the best. Then we went to grab a bite to eat and I think I got more food around my mouth than actually in it. I remember my date wiping the sides of my mouth for me. (Thanks man). There was also a local band playing at the food joint. I was, of course, the only one dancing.

It was around this time he took me home. I hope he calls again…

17 comments:

Laughing through my chardonnay said...

Comedy clubs have a way of getting people drunk and making bad decisions. I worked at one for years (on the west coast like your self) and I single handed know that helped many people make bad decisions.

I'm sure he will call again. If not, you can always sleep with one of the comics!

ambboogie said...

*rollin*

you did NOT get sloppy drunk on a first date!!!

G-Sweet said...

U know what... I don't wanna hear no damn complainin about u not havin a man, not gettin laid, or u bein lonely... if this is how u act on dates... lol... Ms. P... ur too much


Nah... @ least ur bein urself!... if he can't dig it... fuck em!

Mister Underhill said...

I have that same suit.

So@24 said...

I loves me some dating posts! Especially from you Ms.P!

I'm gonna miss Slow Boy...

NYCPonderings Chick said...

wow, first date drunkeness is a sign of class and respect for yourself...seriously, one time i got so drunk when I got up from the dinner table to go to the bathroom i fell over onto the floor...class all the way with us apparently...next time I will make sure to hug every single comic and tell them they are my favorite

NYCPonderings Chick said...

maybe we should double date sometime and take two guys who are in need of losing their dignity

MsPuddin said...

laughing through my chardonnay- Welcome! Yeah the first comic that went up was cute. He lives with his mama, but we can work around the kinks…

ambboogie- technically it wasn’t the first date, but yes to the first part…

gsweet- damn homie, you make me sound like an alcoholic

mister underhill- as Bruce Bruce? You must get a lot of play…

so@24- this guy came into my job the other day, looked just like slow boy. I almost had a heart attack, but it wasn’t him…

nycponderingschick- man, you can’t take us no where! That’s what I do best, lower self esteem…

A.Venegas said...

I cracked up when I read your first paragraph. Fuckin' Awesome. Crisco. Hilarious.

Slaus of O Hell Nawl said...

nekkid azz drunkeness with Crisco? you aiight with me.

Now if you woke up chained to the cieling fan, with Ho Slugga playing on the radio,and dressed as Rainbow Bright but you didnt have nan drawls on? I'd say you was a freak ass nasty naughty person that needs a role model and supervision.

then i'd be like Caawwlll me!

Suite B said...

Sure he will call again, but I'm sure it will be by accident

Be you and if they can't deal with it then let them go...but if you start letting too many go you might want to consider changing...:)

MsPuddin said...

a.venegas- yes…fuckin’ awesome. I had some leftover Crisco too, so I made cookies…

slaus of o hell nawl- I used to have a ceiling fan, but I had too many dirty panties and condoms up there I had to get it removed. It wasn’t spinning properly. N I know about you, watching 2girls one cup getting excited, shame on you!

suite b- damn, that’s not too reassuring…

c.watson said...

As long as the food around your mouth wasn't regurgitated I think you're money (I've decided I need to work money as an adjective into my vocab more often). And any guy who doesn't find a drunk Ms. Puddin attractive is a guy you don't want.

country roads said...

I say why not have a bunch of drinks and have a good time... :-)

MsPuddin said...

c.watson- ugh. Regurgitate is such a gross word. Thanks for that. I’m actually quite a pleasant drunk. If you are drunk too and you don’t remember what I do…

country roads- I thought life was that simple too…

BottleBlonde said...

I woulda been PISSED that Bruce Bruce wasn't there. I love that guy. Though I'm scared for his heart ...

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