We have been through so much. Ever since I got drunk last spring and left my ex razr in the bathroom of some bar, we’ve been inseparable.
When we first met I used to love your shiny coat and flashy buttons. Now you’re kind of rusty and the “off” button doesn’t work. Sometimes I wonder if I had gotten a different color, if things would have been different? Of all the buttons not to work, why did you have to stop that one? It’s the most important button. It's how I hang up and turn my phone on and off. But I guess all the buttons are equally important. I mean, where would I be without the number seven?
Anyway, I’m getting off topic.
I know I am becoming really good at dropping you at least once a day, but its not my fault you are so slippery. It’s just so frustrating, because when I do try and put you away in a safe place, like my purse, you always manage to go straight to the bottom. Where I can't find you. Which is really irritating when my phone rings.
And sometimes when I am talking through you, you just shut off. No warning, no explanation, just off. I think it’s time we call this relationship quits, because this makes it hard for me to talk to other people. I don’t know if there is some sort of jealousy you have towards me, but you need to get over it. It’s rare a hot guy calls me and when one does I don’t want to end up a victim of a “dropped call” commercial.
Consider this letter a warning. Any more problems and I’m calling my insurance company.
Ms Fresh Banana Puddin’
Thursday, November 15, 2007