Thursday, November 15, 2007

An open letter to my cell phone…

Dear Razr,

We have been through so much. Ever since I got drunk last spring and left my ex razr in the bathroom of some bar, we’ve been inseparable.

When we first met I used to love your shiny coat and flashy buttons. Now you’re kind of rusty and the “off” button doesn’t work. Sometimes I wonder if I had gotten a different color, if things would have been different? Of all the buttons not to work, why did you have to stop that one? It’s the most important button. It's how I hang up and turn my phone on and off. But I guess all the buttons are equally important. I mean, where would I be without the number seven?

Anyway, I’m getting off topic.

I know I am becoming really good at dropping you at least once a day, but its not my fault you are so slippery. It’s just so frustrating, because when I do try and put you away in a safe place, like my purse, you always manage to go straight to the bottom. Where I can't find you. Which is really irritating when my phone rings.

And sometimes when I am talking through you, you just shut off. No warning, no explanation, just off. I think it’s time we call this relationship quits, because this makes it hard for me to talk to other people. I don’t know if there is some sort of jealousy you have towards me, but you need to get over it. It’s rare a hot guy calls me and when one does I don’t want to end up a victim of a “dropped call” commercial.

Consider this letter a warning. Any more problems and I’m calling my insurance company.

Sincerely,

Ms Fresh Banana Puddin’

30 comments:

Lady~Daydreamer said...

And let the church say Amen.

I feel your pain!

NYCPonderings Chick said...

I think your cell has been cheating on you with another calling plan

Ms. Behaving said...

Shutting off while you're in mid conversation with another man???

Yup...LMAO that has jealousy written all ova it.

Make no mistake about it gurl. Kick that bad boy to the curb!!!!

G-Sweet said...

hahaha... his days (im assuming its a "him") are numbered but he'll slip up!

Ms. Da-ish said...

girl you are crazy as hell. this had me laughing hard

anonymousnupe said...

When are you gonna stop playing the sympathy card with regard to men not wanting you? Suuuure it's rare for a "hot man" to call you. Sure. If that's the case it's gotta be by design, darling.

Bella said...

Girl, you are too much!

That was cute.

Diarrhea of the Mouth said...

my phone works like a champ, but unlike yours mine is ugly as fuck. i guess it's a trade off. mine is thick and fat. i drop it allt he time and it still won't break.

Da Vinci said...

Lol, this is hilarious good one...if you like a good read check out my blog http://davincisbloglog.blogspot.com/

MsPuddin said...

lady~ dreamer- Welcome! hallelujah!

nyc chick- first men and now my cell phone! Can’t anyone keep it in their pants?

ms. behaving- so he is a hater…thanks for that girlfriend intervention

g-sweet- he keeps messin’ w me man

ms. da-ish- Hi! I think he’s laughing at me too

anonymousnupe- you caught that huh. I kid, I kid…

bella- : D

diarrhea of the mouth- sounds like my mom’s phone. Are you two homies?

da vinci- Hay! Sounds good…

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

I had a shot at getting a Razr last year when I renewed my contract.

I got this cool flip phone instead.

It makes me look hella cool.

Chicks dig cell phones.

Sorry about your off button.

c.watson said...

Is it jealousy or retaliation for all of the times you drop it? I mean think about it, you drop the phone, the phone drops a call. You need to take a serious look at yourself and come to terms with the fact that you are an abuser. Sure you don't drop the phone all the time and I bet it was "asking for it," but I'm just saying: Karma.

Becky said...

You have much more patience than I do.

Don said...

I think it may be time for you to make that phne call to the insurance company...lol

The OFF button no longer works? Yep, it's definitely time to make that call.

Don said...

When are you gonna stop playing the sympathy card with regard to men not wanting you?

*standing ovation*

A.Venegas said...

An open ended letter to my Razr:

Dear Razr,

You don't call, you don't text. I know I dropped you from a three story building and ran over you with the car, but baby, I need you. I used that soldering gun on your face cuz I love you. You just don't light up the way you used to.

Your man,
-Drew

MsPuddin said...

Lightning bug’s butt- crackin’ up @ “I got this cool flip phone instead.It makes me look hella cool.Chicks dig cell phones.” We also dig guys with jobs who know how to read and can put the toilet seat down…

c.watson- hold up whose side are you on?

becky- it’s wearing thin…

don- oh shut up! Lol you and nupe need to quit! Hmmm…maybe I can get a man to buy me a new phone lmfao!! YAY!

a.venegas- how romantic

Don said...

msP, you know you can get a man to buy you a new phone...lol

I think you have that power.

Chris "Bag Boy" said...

Dear Razr,
You are going to be replaced this holiday season with an iPhone. Sorry, but I am tired of looking through your dust filled screen with anger.

-Chris
Great post Ms. P.
Reminded me of how much I want to get rid of mine.

Steph said...

My screen keeps going dark blue and I can't see who's calling me so I can't screen my fecking calls! I think I need to write a letter to my phone too, maybe I can email instead.

phishez_rule said...

My phone freezes. For no reason. I'll be telling it to cancel what its doing so I can do something else, and it just gets all flustered.

Sometimes it just needs a reset. Gotta take his battery out, because his on/off button doesn't work when he gets like that.

Stupid phone.

One Man’s Opinion said...

First, let me say, MsPuddin'...I love that name. You can't see it and not smile. Second, thanks for stopping by my blog, it is appreciated. Third, you are a little abusive with to cell phone. I think it should call 9-11. Peace.

thehoustongirl said...

AHHHH!!! what phone service do you have? i have t-mobile and have this small flat little Samsung T-509. I had it since August 06 and yesterday I was on my way to work and just so happen to LOSE my cell phone, so I went to work without a phone. I come home and my mom ended up findind it in the KITCHEN TRASH CAN!! I had it in my coat but it slipped out. I was looking at getting a PDA since almost EVERYONE has one [no sidekick tho]The thing I hate about my phone is that I can't make my own ringtones...i have to pay 1.99 for T-Mobile's!

*catch breath* long story LMAO!!! have a good 1~!

thehoustongirl said...

ps: yes, my phone tried to commit suicide yesterday! :( *cries*

Betty said...

heheheh, this was funny. Yes, I have had many a love/hate relationship with my phone ( we call them mobiles in australia)
I have frequent thoughts of just tossing the stupid things in the river. But then...I need one.

At least I tell myself I need one!

MsPuddin said...

don- I will look into that…

bag boy- that’s what I am here for, to remind people of their shitty appliances…

steph- damn! What’s the point in having a phone if you can’t screen the calls?

phishez_rule- yeah a phone shouldn’t be this much work…

one man’s opinion- thanks! Welcome! You re taking its side too? Unbelievable!

thehoustongirl- breathe girl breathe…lol…

betty- I know! I don’t even like talking on the phone. This is not a win win situation…

BottleBlonde said...

Have you SEEN how hot you are? That skank of a phone is just jealous. Drop 'er like she's hot.

Divalicious said...

My poor ear box has been dropped in the toilet a few times and on the floor, ground, sidewalk on a daily basis. Mine hates me for good reason.

MsPuddin said...

bottleblonde- I hope she catches something!

divalicious- I would hate you too if you dropped my ass in the toilet…damn you woman!

Prunella Jones said...

As the the owner of a razr I'd just like to say, I hear that!