Saturday, January 12, 2008

I Got The Hook Up

I officially buried my razr this week.

I was getting out of the car with a pile of stuff in my hands and of course the only thing to fall onto the ground was my cell phone. It broke into two pieces, separating the neck from the body.

Oddly enough it still worked after that.

Well, up until the next night when I set it down on the couch next to me and then accidentally bumped it with my foot, knocking it onto the floor. Kind of similar to a power outage, it sizzled on and off a few times before completely shutting down.

So I sucked it up and went and bought a brand new phone, with no insurance and a no commitment plan. A painful $250 later, I upgraded. All the jobs I have and that one still hurt. I don't know why, it's not like I was buying drugs or some booty. It's just that the only thing I ever spend that much money on guilt free is shoes.

However, the next night at work I got a party of 30 guys who requested a female server (sexist much?). Two bottles of jager, three bottles of patron silver, fifteen jack n cokes, four car bombs, ten vodka sodas, 100 beers, one lap dance and a couple of hand jobs later, they tipped me out for my new cell phone. Score!

38 comments:

Eb the Celeb said...

lmao... do what you gotta do girl!

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

dang, now im finna (im country) go and hve a few pops. I got a chocolate and they dont eve make them in that color, and dont forge to send me sme puddin in the mail hon

c.watson said...

Yeah new phone, I love shiny new things. Does it do anything interesting? Can it talk, text, im and make thousands of julian fries?

anonymousnupe said...

Oh, you're a hand model, too?! Dang you versatile!!!

oestrebunny said...

hell anything that isn't a razr is a step up!

Ms.Lady said...

you are a hot mess gurl...lol..well..atleast you got that 2fiddy back..lol

Steph said...

lol, Good work!

Qucifer said...

I'm saying!! Drunkeness AND free celly, That's how I want my weekends to be forevermore

Prunella Jones said...

I'd love to upgrade my Razr too. It sucks so bad that a few handjobs seems a small price to pay.

marky said...

Damn, I like your attitude. You're a hot beauty.

maverick said...

ha ha ha ha..good job...surprised that the razr worked after splitting up...lol...me enjoying myself in dubai..updated my blog..lol

Don said...

lol

MsP, its about time you buried that old phone. I recently buried mines as well. Now I wish I had gotten an IPhone.

You must have a hellified lap dance.

Muze said...

girl, i feel you. i had to replace my cell last month. my old one i had dropped one too many times and it was seriously being held together by a rubberband. lol. i didn't care but bf finally made me go get another one when my phone kept hanging up on him if the rubberband moved. ha!

i didn't do a lap dance,but when i went into the store i saw a guy who i went to high school with that used to like me. a few batted eyelashes and demure smiles later, i paid $100 less than the phone costs.

that's just how we do. lol.

Bella said...

Gotta do what you gotta do, huh?

:) Bella

Diva said...

I wonder if Big T would pay enough for a handjob (or blowjob) to get me a nice shiny new phone.

Oh wait. We're married now. Guess not. LOL

Good for you, mamasita!!

Laughing through my chardonnay said...

It's tips like that that make me miss waiting tables.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

hahahaah worrrd.

James Tubman said...

you so crazy

Mister Underhill said...

My poor ex, she got her phone stolen and totally freaked out. She kept crying and crying. I bought her a new one for xmas and it was nice to see her stop crying. I'm not a chump, btw. She's a good friend....

Ms. Behaving said...

I hear that Ms. P!!
What can I say...Ya gotta love a few good tippers!!!

Preposterous Ponderings said...

Next time add a couple more hand jobbies in and I bet you double your damn money!

Hell, flop a tottie out and watch the money roll in girl!

CapCity said...

i feel ya on the shoes!!

Caesar Cannon said...

Razrs are frail. I snapped a couple of those in half... hence the reason I'm rockin without a cell currently. Oh well, hopefully I can cop up on something new soon

Opinionated Diva said...

lol...I'm gonna agree with James Tubman!

Still_Pocahontaz said...

All the jobs I have and that one still hurt

Im all cried out over you!

Smitty said...

See thats why you need insurance "in case shit happens" (c)Chris Rock

Robot Zombie Vampire said...

WTF? My handie cost $250 flat, and I didn't get the benefit of such service.

phishez_rule said...

Shit. If you do all of that for a new phone, maybe I could just give someone a blow job for a freebie.

theBULLY said...

Damn....I'll do your taxes for 2 hand jobs.

UBERMOUTH said...

Wow you truly are the hostess with the mostest!

Slick said...

LOL...damn girl. See, if you'd have settled on a cheap ol' EBay phone, you could've done the handjobs just for fun!

NYCPonderings Chick said...

at first when I read that, I thought the dudes worked at verizon or something and actually tipped you a cell phone, like here is 20 bucks oh and an iphone...thanks for the shots

!*!*!*!*!Fresh and Fab!*!*!*!*! said...

loving da blog

MsPuddin said...

comments comments comments oh my!

Give me a min everyone...

MsPuddin said...

eb- you know me, handling business as usual

torrance- puddin’ mail? What’s this?

c. watson- you know I was always happy if my cell phone could make and receive phone calls. That is what it is for after all, but this shiny thing has special features. Which I have no idea how to work…damn technology

nupe- I got skillz baby!

ms lady- hot mess with a new guilt free cell phone, don’t hate!

steph- I took one for the team…

prune juice- that is a small price, shit I might have had to get on my knees…

marky- I like me too!

maverick- dubai huh? Yeah I know, careless me : (

don- my mom asked me if I wanted an iphone for my bday, but I don’t even think I would use all the features. And would prob drop and break it anyway…

muze- ok, mad that you had your phone propped up together with a rubber band. The guy in the store SAID he was going to hook me up, but I think he just wanted my number…

bella- ain’t it the truth…

diva- marriage ruins everything! Lol

chard- you too huh…

chelsea- welcome!

james t- : )

mister u- damn I should have hit you up first…

ms b- yes, amen to that!

pp- I should have let one of those pervs suck a nip nip and got a new TV or something…

capcity- lol that’s my sh*t

cannon- hi! Yeah that was my second razr, but actually the first one got left in a bathroom, in a bar…

op diva- over here cosigning…

still_p- * tear *

smitty- lol man I used all my phone insurance up…sh*t has already happened, a few times…

rzv- oh snap! Thanks for the info, I will have to call you next time…

ph_rule- who knows what I would have got for going down on my knees? A car, perhaps?

thebully- welcome! Hmmm…taxes huh? What can I get for three jobs?

ub- I am!

slick- I don’t do hand jobs for fun! The holiday season is over, that is work right there…

nyc chick- hey, they are everywhere you want them to be…

fresh- thanks! Welcome!

MsP- you suck at responding on time…

X Factor said...

Damn... if I knew that all I had to do was a few lousy handjobs, I woulda BEEN upgraded my sorry ass phone! Love your blog...

Karrie B. said...

DEATH TO ALLLLLLLLLL RAZRS.

-karrie b.